Husband Puzzled By Strange Device Found Near Bread Loaf

[Richard Cranium]

May 19, 2024

LANCASTER, PA — According to sources, local husband Max Brosa was confused after finding a small, mysterious plastic device near an open package of bread on his kitchen counter.

"Hello, what's this?" said the man as he turned the strange thin gadget around in his hand. "I certainly don't remember purchasing such a oddly shaped little thing. What could possibly be its intended use? Is it some sort of data storage device, perhaps? Is it a key to a secret room? Whatever it is, I very much doubt it has anything to do with this open bread wrapper sitting before me on my kitchen counter."

"Honey! What's this thing for?" cried Brosa to his wife, who refused to answer his question and just rolled her eyes, presumably because she also didn't know what the bizarre little plastic clip-shaped thingy was for.

The man then placed the peculiar thing in the junk drawer so it would be handy when its intended use became known.

At publishing time, Brosa had grabbed the bread wrapper and expertly twisted the opening three times before tucking it under, like a normal person.

 

[chargervert]

This story is the tale of a demented bread bopper, Sir Richard Pumpaloaf Cranium!

 

[YY1]

Thomas's (I think) bagels have a "thing" that is the same color and almost identical pattern as our butcher block counter tops.

If I'm not wearing my glasses, they literally dissapear.


I also do the twist and fold.

 

[Dave6T4]

Here in Ontario, the plastic bag tie has been replaced by a tan coloured fibrous thingy, as an environmental measure. As another poster said, they are easy to lose on a countertop. We have also lost the plastic drinking straw, for the same environmental cause. You haven't lived until you have drunk an A&A root beer out of a wax paper cup through a wax paper straw. Yuk! Ontario; saving the planet, one bag tie or straw at a time!

 

[moparedtn]

Related but not quite the same:
As a left-hander, I've noticed all my life that those wire twisty ties on some bread packages
are twisted the "wrong" way - yet another way modern society discriminates against us southpaws!

 

[khryslerkid]

Related but not quite the same:
As a left-hander, I've noticed all my life that those wire twisty ties on some bread packages
are twisted the "wrong" way - yet another way modern society discriminates against us southpaws!

Oh contraire mon frere. I've found them both ways. I've come to the conclusion that it might depend on what side of the assembly line it's on. "Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty" doesn't apply with bread wrappers!

 

[Cranky]

May 19, 2024


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LANCASTER, PA — According to sources, local husband Max Brosa was confused after finding a small, mysterious plastic device near an open package of bread on his kitchen counter.

"Hello, what's this?" said the man as he turned the strange thin gadget around in his hand. "I certainly don't remember purchasing such a oddly shaped little thing. What could possibly be its intended use? Is it some sort of data storage device, perhaps? Is it a key to a secret room? Whatever it is, I very much doubt it has anything to do with this open bread wrapper sitting before me on my kitchen counter."

"Honey! What's this thing for?" cried Brosa to his wife, who refused to answer his question and just rolled her eyes, presumably because she also didn't know what the bizarre little plastic clip-shaped thingy was for.

The man then placed the peculiar thing in the junk drawer so it would be handy when its intended use became known.

At publishing time, Brosa had grabbed the bread wrapper and expertly twisted the opening three times before tucking it under, like a normal person.

This story is the tale of a demented bread bopper, Sir Richard Pumpaloaf Cranium!

Demented but the rest of that I have no idea.....

I also do the twist and fold.

Same here.....

 

[khryslerkid]

This story is the tale of a demented bread bopper, Sir Richard Pumpaloaf Cranium!

Pumpaloaf!

 

[moparedtn]

Oh contraire mon frere. I've found them both ways. I've come to the conclusion that it might depend on what side of the assembly line it's on. "Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty" doesn't apply with bread wrappers!

Well, you are in a bit more of a left-ish part of the country up there....just sayin'.

 

[khryslerkid]

Don't throw the plastic clip away!

 

[eldubb440]

must be a millennial........ they're mostly retarded

 

[YY1]

I untwist a very high number of twist ties.

The number that are left twist vs right twist is too close to call one way or the other.

50/50 would be a good guess.

 

[Kern Dog]

I save those plastic clips and use them after opening bread loaf wrappers. The twist and tuck method is fine but the plastic clips are faster than wire ties and don't allow air inside if the loaf gets accidently moved.

 

[Budnicks]

I use/reuse them as intended, I always have
it was a pet peave of mine, spin the loaf & reinstall
'I even ragged the kids for doing the lazy tuck & stuff BS'
I threw away a lot of stale bread, didn't need to..

My ol' fart dad is lazy & does the fold & tuck BS
I find the closure thingy on the counter a lot,
too lazy to throw it away even
then wonders why the top pieces or 3-4
'are almost always or partially stale, have hard crust'
he won't eat the heals either,
he always eats something between '2 pieces of bread' every day
he consumes 3 big loafs a month to my 1 maybe & 1 pack of Bagels
Grammie (his mother) warned me, that he's 1 strange duck ...

He has his own sourdough bread, obsessive about it
so my
Thomas's Bagels or Orowheat multi-grain/7 grain bread is spared that crap
we both keep the bread/s in the fridge too, far less molding or trash
lasts way longer, it's toasted 90% of the time anyway

otherwise we'd (or I'd) be throwing '1/2' loafs away all the damn time

 

[MarPar]

we both keep the bread/s in the fridge too, far less molding or trash

Never liked bread that came out of the fridge. It would always taste off. Besides, bread doesn't last very long in my house. lol

 

[WileE]

I untwist a very high number of twist ties.
The number that are left twist vs right twist is too close to call one way or the other.

 

[Budnicks]

Never liked bread that came out of the fridge. It would always taste off. Besides, bread doesn't last very long in my house. lol

If I didn't toast 90%+ of breads I'd keep it in an old sealed front style bread box

 

[Hey-O]

I don't like or use them, as a matter fact, I don't even like people that like them. Twist and fold under is for rookies!! LOL

The manager at our grocery store made a comment that they were running out of twist ties in the produce department. I said, imagine that.

 

[chargervert]

Pumpaloaf!

From the demented mind of Frank Zappa!