I used to rate Graveyard Carz as the worst car show ever (apologies to fans of the show), but after last night it's not even in the running for the title. I was watching the new season of Fast & Loud on Discovery, and after the season premier there was the premier of this show called Street Outlaws. Wow...
It's a show about the dark underground world of street racing in the street racing Mecca of the world... Oklahoma City, OK. That's right... Oklahoma City, OK. Who knew that this was the street racing capital of the world, or that the fastest street cars in the country (a point repeated about a dozen times in the first ten minutes of the show) are located in Oklahoma City, OK? I couldn't help but think of Ron White's old bit about being told that Cincinnati is the chili capital of the world, and he says "I don't even think you'all told the Mexican boys you were having a contest, because a Mexican boy would come up here with a goat and an onion and kick your ***!" The first thing I learned when I was starting into street racing was to always assume you weren't the fastest... I guess these doofs never learned that lesson.
I also guess they don't realize there's a lot more to this country than Oklahoma City because I suspect there are lots of cars that are faster than theirs.
Then came the introduction of the guys and their rides... think of it as Fast & Furious meets The Andy Griffith Show. They're a bunch or losers (one guy says he makes his wife work double shifts so he has enough money to mod out his car... you can guess what a catch she is, and another brags how he worries more about winning races than paying his rent) and their rides look nice but their HP claims are off the charts. They're talking about some pretty moderate mods, but claiming over 1,000hp at the wheels, which is a joke for most of these guys. It looks like most of them are running N02 to get most of their horsepower increases ala the import racing guys, but as the more experienced amongst us know... N02 makes your car fast only until you run out of N02, which is usually pretty early in the evening.
Then they showed these two guys racing out in an industrial area during the day, and then they go and hide in a garage because they're worried someone heard their tire squeeling and called the cops. Anyone know of an industrial park area where someone would call the cops because they heard tires squeeling? Or where the cops would rush a unit out to investigate said call? But there were these idiots hiding in this garage with the requisite footage of a police car slowly cruising by, and the guys are saying how they can't get caught, one because he's already got enough violations that he'll lose his license for a year and the other moron claiming his license has already been suspended. I'm guessing after ruckus caused by their moonshining show, the folks at Discovery aren't eager to run a foul of that situation again, so these guys are either lying or the whole show is staged... I suspect both.
So the show is about a bunch of redneck low-life street races who sold some dork at Discovery that their cars are the fastest in the country. What could be a better waste of 60 minutes of air time?