Friends that you had to let go.

[747mopar]

The only friendship that really hurt to let go was a childhood friend and the best man at my wedding. While his wife was sitting home with their kid, he was chasing bar skanks. I wasn’t willing to lie to provide an alibi for his abhorrent behavior. There’s a lot more to the story, but I resented being put in that position. Nope, not going to do it…

Been in that position and lost a few friends over it!

 

[ykf7b0]

I had a lifelong friend whom I thought I knew pretty well. To my horrific surprise, I learned after the fact that he was molesting his young daughter. He is currently serving a sentence in the state penitentiary. That has, to this date, been the single greatest shock of my 57 years of living. I will never understand why because there is no explanation. I still pray for him and more so for his daughter.

 

[Cranky]

Stink I'm gonna go in the house before.......insert your....whatevers here lol

 

[Cranky]

I had a lifelong friend whom I thought I knew pretty well. To my horrific surprise, I learned after the fact that he was molesting his young daughter. He is currently serving a sentence in the state penitentiary. That has, to this date, been the single greatest shock of my 57 years of living. I will never understand why because there is no explanation. I still pray for him and more so for his daughter.

Dayam!!!!!

 

[Jim 68cuda]

We have friends that were on they exact opposite spectrum regarding politics. Didn’t discuss it and we got along extremely well. Unfortunately he passed away in 2014, but still see her yearly.

One of my closest friends and I have known each other since first grade and have been good friends for fifty years. We have totally opposite political opinions. We were in Florida a few years back during an election year picking up a Dart convertible he bought. We passed a rally of Trump supporters holding up signs, "Honk if you support Trump". I was driving and was about to hit the horn when I heard, "Oh hell no! You're driving my truck so don't even think about it!". We don't talk politics either. We know we will never change each other's opinions. We live ten minutes apart in a small town. We sometimes go together to go vote to cancel out each other's vote.

 

[patrick66]

When I went to my class reunion in July, I've always made an effort in previous reunions to get with folks I hadn't seen in a LONG time, of course; and also the people I didn't particularly associate with in school. This was no exception. I wanted to hear people talk about their lives. Some were very open and had no filter. Some, not so much. I wasn't feeling particularly well at this last one, so I really didn't say a lot. You can tell the folks with grandkids and great-grandkids. Since I have neither, I really wanted to know what their experiences with them is/was. And it was a bunch of fun to hear the stories! Seems like they do/did the same silly things we all did when we were kids.

Having a small circle of friends is a good thing, to me. But I'm glad my friends don't inundate me with "me, me, me!" stories. I think most of those "friends" are gone from my life. That's good, too.

 

[moparedtn]

How about you?
Have you had buddies with bad habits you just couldn't take?

There's bad habits (nail biting or smoking or what have you)....and then there's bad character flaws, which
are like bad habits on steroids.
In my case, if the latter was a descriptor of a given person, then we never became friends to begin with generally.
I can tolerate a bit of the former, having some bad habits myself - as most humans do.

 

[Dennis H]

Loner here. Nothing to do about it. Linda says others don’t appreciate my humor. It’s surprising that the boys here put up with as much as they do. Recently met up with some co workers of my past. More like a misfit reunion.

 

[Kern Dog]

Dennis, one thing that struck me about you right away is that you ask questions during conversation. You ask about what the other person thinks, what they did, etc.
You act the way that others should act.

 

[kiwigtx]

Loner here. Nothing to do about it. Linda says others don’t appreciate my humor. It’s surprising that the boys here put up with as much as they do. Recently met up with some co workers of my past. More like a misfit reunion.

I'll be your friend Dennis....we have much to talk about over many beers.

 

[copper67sat]

Like many, our social group evolved over time as we drifted away from friends that either weren't growing with us or going in different directions. We still have a core group of long time friends. Most don't live around us anymore, but we still have a great time when we get to see them and it's almost like we've never been apart.

My wife has had more falling outs with friends than I have. Most recently, she cut ties with a person who she considered her BFF for over 20 yrs. The woman and her husband were some of our best friends. We saw them several times a month and they were at the core of our social group at the time.

The husband died suddenly of an aortic aneurysm in 2019 and we were there to help and support her. It was a 2nd (him) or 3rd (her) marriage, but they had been together for 25-30 years. Within 6 months, she was seeing her high school boyfriend from 50 yrs ago who is very different from her husband. For me, he was on ok guy though he tended to steer every conversation to things he "knew" about and he's a know-it-all type. My wife found him handsy - close hugs, lingering touches, etc. - which she hated.

The wife has always been about physical appearances and started disparaging my wife when she decided to stop wearing makeup regularly and let her hair return to its natural color which is medium brown now highlighted with a fair amount of silvery gray. My wife has very good skin and has taken great care if it so she doesn't really need to cover up with makeup. My wife is also a generally happy, outgoing person who likes to do things to make people smile or laugh such as dancing down the store aisle or just being goofy. All these things draw attention, but not the kind the wife wanted - she's a beauty and wants to be seen% as such.

We never realized just how shallow and sometimes ditzy/dumb the wife was when her husband was alive. Remove him and add in the obnoxious boyfriend and the wife seemed to reflect those traits more.

The final straw came after a party we hosted. As the guests were departing and we were finally getting a chance to relax a bit, this couple were the last 2 guests remaining and were hanging out in our game room. My wife had rolled one to share with them and carried it back, but then went back to the kitchen to grab her drink. I don’t partake so I was still cleaning up a few things when my wife came back in and before she could return, the other couple came in and said their goodbyes. After they left, my wife went to retrieve her party materials and they were gone. She asked the wife about it a few days later and the wife claimed ignorance, which may or not be true, and swore her boyfriend would never do such a thing.

It was a relatively small thing and my wife would have gladly given them a party favor if they had asked, but leaving when they did and apparently taking something that was not offered then denying they took it was more than my wife could handle. It's been over a year and they haven't spoken since. This also meant detaching from many of the others in that group.

Frankly, I don’t really miss any of them, except the dead husband. He was a retired SEAL and a really good guy.

 

[Richard Cranium]

I had a lifelong friend whom I thought I knew pretty well. To my horrific surprise, I learned after the fact that he was molesting his young daughter. He is currently serving a sentence in the state penitentiary. That has, to this date, been the single greatest shock of my 57 years of living. I will never understand why because there is no explanation. I still pray for him and more so for his daughter.

I had an acquaintance who lived nearby up at the lake in NH who suddenly killed himself about 10 years ago, which was a shock. To make a long story short, it turned out that he was doing the nasty with an underage girl for some period of time. Years later, when she was college age, she spilled the beans and he was charged with statutory rape, which has no statute of limitations. Obviously, his life was ruined and he was looking at serious jail time, so he killed himself. I do have to say that he was a nice guy, but it just goes to show that sometimes you just never know the secrets someone has.

 

[mmissile]

Always kicking some douche-bag to the curb. Mostly because of lying...

 

[moparwacko]

I'm with Dennis H - loner here too.

I worked with quite a large group of Lineman since my early twenties. We all worked together, vacationed together, had kids about the same time, etc.
Then I made the step to management, and it was like turning off a light switch. Immediately, no more birthday parties, invites to the game on Sunday, no more phone calls. It was as if leprosy had reared its ugly head. Friends I had worked with for 20+ years instantly wanted nothing to do with me. Time moves on, and so have I, as I found different folks through the years.
My cousin had some very wise words last week: There's a difference between loneliness and solitude - I prefer solitude and enjoy it immensely. For me, there is nothing like spending time in the shop alone.

 

[moparedtn]

Loner here. Nothing to do about it. Linda says others don’t appreciate my humor. It’s surprising that the boys here put up with as much as they do. Recently met up with some co workers of my past. More like a misfit reunion.

I can personally attest to your character, sir - and it'd be my honor to do so.

 

[VANDAN]

One of my closest friends and I have known each other since first grade and have been good friends for fifty years. We have totally opposite political opinions. We were in Florida a few years back during an election year picking up a Dart convertible he bought. We passed a rally of Trump supporters holding up signs, "Honk if you support Trump". I was driving and was about to hit the horn when I heard, "Oh hell no! You're driving my truck so don't even think about it!". We don't talk politics either. We know we will never change each other's opinions. We live ten minutes apart in a small town. We sometimes go together to go vote to cancel out each other's vote.

Jim, You're a Pussy, I would have burned that horn out.................

 

[SSmoothie]

kind of weird you brought this up I just dumped 3 people that I’ve know for years. It’s literally like in the past year there state of mind changed, and not on the same page they use to be.

 

[moparedtn]

Always kicking some douche-bag to the curb. Mostly because of lying...

Yeah, integrity and trustworthiness are huge for me as well. It's even #1 for me to remain in a marriage.
The bad part of that is....well, humans are human, which means a really short list stick around for the
long haul if one doesn't have that forgiveness in them - which I admit, I don't.
A character flaw in me for sure.

 

[Hey-O]

I haven't commented on this thread because it would be a freakin book!!!!

There's no way to write a life story in this thread without it being a book. I'm not sure if that's good, bad or if people would wonder if anything that screwed up was fact or fiction.

 

[Sahara]

With me it’s all about integrity. If you don’t have it I don’t want to know you. Absolute, unshakable integrity. The kind of people that have it when no one would know or no one is looking.
Consequently I have only a few friends but all are close. My best friend has been so since 1972.
I raised my child that way and she has gone a long way in life at a young age.
It’s also most likely what kept me alive through the ten years of “adventure”. I would show up with a sack full of the agreed upon amount of cash or merchandise. Never asked questions, never was a smart ***, never negotiated after the fact. I survived unscathed when I could have been wacked a hundred times over.
Never took or touched what wasn’t mine, be it your stuff or your women.
So I cut people loose that don’t fit that criteria. I don’t care about your colour, religion, political affiliation (other than you know who. Just kidding. I know people who like him), or sexual preference. But if I can’t trust you you are nothing to me.
And people who are genuinely ignorant and/or stupid. It’s not that I’m smarter than everyone else but I know that I won’t get smarter hanging out with stupid people. I won’t get happier hanging out with angry people.