XS22J8R
Well-Known Member
Watching someones independence fade is a tough dilemma many of us face if blessed with a parent who lives to a ripe old age.
My mom’s going to be 91 in a month. My dad passed around 10 years ago after a short battle with cancer. Fortunately my mom’s mind is still pretty sharp but she’s been getting noticeably more frail the last couple years.
She lives in a real nice assisted living community she loves, in an apartment in independent living. She has a parking spot in an underground garage and still was driving, though very limited for doctor and a few errands.
I’ve been worried about her driving as she was never a great driver and her already marginal skills were fading. She had a couple minor fender benders the last year or two.
Wednesday afternoon she went to the doctor appointment that ran late and by the time she was returning home, it was dark. She said it was so dark she “couldn’t see” even though the crowded urban area she lives has street lights every 10 feet it seems.
She didn’t see the turn lane for the street that goes to her building and turned on the next street, and was trying to figure out where to go in the dark when “bam” and she finds herself in her car lying on its side. She said she was only going 5 mph but hit a tree. The fire department had to cut the roof to free her. She said the engine was running and they had to tell her to shut it off. I wonder how an engine can run with a car lying on its side?
The first responders said she “climbed the tree” when she hit it, but I’m still trying to understand the physics of tipping a car at 5 mph!
They took her to the ER and she’s ok but sore, still pretty shook up.
She says she isn’t going to get another car and is going to give up her license so at least that saves me the stress of having to demand she do that! I wonder though if I should have pushed the issue sooner.
It puts me in dilemma though. She obviously needs more help. I never had a family of my own so have no experience as a caretaker. In fact my experiences are in trying to take care of myself through various crisis with very little support including getting critically injured in an accident 30 years ago and a medical emergency with multiple hospitalizations a couple years back. I have one sister who used to live nearby but her and my brother in law had the bright idea to move away to Michigan a few years ago, leaving me the only family close by.
I know it’s a common experience for people but for many creates a lot of stress and burden!
Thankfully my mom didn’t hurt anyone but I still question if I should have pushed her harder to give up the keys after her last fender bender a few months ago.
My mom’s going to be 91 in a month. My dad passed around 10 years ago after a short battle with cancer. Fortunately my mom’s mind is still pretty sharp but she’s been getting noticeably more frail the last couple years.
She lives in a real nice assisted living community she loves, in an apartment in independent living. She has a parking spot in an underground garage and still was driving, though very limited for doctor and a few errands.
I’ve been worried about her driving as she was never a great driver and her already marginal skills were fading. She had a couple minor fender benders the last year or two.
Wednesday afternoon she went to the doctor appointment that ran late and by the time she was returning home, it was dark. She said it was so dark she “couldn’t see” even though the crowded urban area she lives has street lights every 10 feet it seems.
She didn’t see the turn lane for the street that goes to her building and turned on the next street, and was trying to figure out where to go in the dark when “bam” and she finds herself in her car lying on its side. She said she was only going 5 mph but hit a tree. The fire department had to cut the roof to free her. She said the engine was running and they had to tell her to shut it off. I wonder how an engine can run with a car lying on its side?
The first responders said she “climbed the tree” when she hit it, but I’m still trying to understand the physics of tipping a car at 5 mph!
They took her to the ER and she’s ok but sore, still pretty shook up.
She says she isn’t going to get another car and is going to give up her license so at least that saves me the stress of having to demand she do that! I wonder though if I should have pushed the issue sooner.
It puts me in dilemma though. She obviously needs more help. I never had a family of my own so have no experience as a caretaker. In fact my experiences are in trying to take care of myself through various crisis with very little support including getting critically injured in an accident 30 years ago and a medical emergency with multiple hospitalizations a couple years back. I have one sister who used to live nearby but her and my brother in law had the bright idea to move away to Michigan a few years ago, leaving me the only family close by.
I know it’s a common experience for people but for many creates a lot of stress and burden!
Thankfully my mom didn’t hurt anyone but I still question if I should have pushed her harder to give up the keys after her last fender bender a few months ago.
