Plymouth comes out on top! - Humorous 1980 Car & Driver mini-truck review

[68 Sport Satellite]

Check out this well written and fairly humorous Car & Driver mini-truck comparison review from 1980. It's one of the most enjoyable car review reads I've come across in a long time.
A few months ago I was on my way back from a 2 hr drive on a nice weather Saturday afternoon and I started seeing all these mini-trucks driving on the highway along my route one by one. I realized they must be coming back from a car meet. I've never seen so many mini-truck brands in such a short span and some I had never seen before. There were Mazdas, Toyotas, Datsuns, Chevys, but also some very old Ford Rangers that were very small. I'm a muscle car guy, but I've always liked the classic lines and simple metal stamped aesthetic of the classic mini-trucks. Today's trucks look good, but the edges are much more rounded and rolled. That goes for most newer vs older vehicles I guess. Anyway, when I got home, I looked up old mini-trucks online and I came across this comparison review article. It's worth a quick read for fun. What it also did was made me realize that if I ever did get a mini-truck, I wouldn't want to leave it stock!

I've posted this thread here because in the head to head ranking, Plymouth came out on top! As the article has the trucks reviewed in order of best to worst, the read gets more humorous the closer you get to the worst ranked truck. If you don't want to read the whole thing, at least read the review of the 7th place Chevy Luv haha.

Enjoy -
https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/comparison-test/a42859506/1980-mini-trucks-compared/

 

[68 Sport Satellite]

check out the steering wheel on the Plymouth mini-truck. It looks like a late 60's Road Runner wheel!

 

[junior340]

I miss my old D50 that looked like this . California smog check wouldn't pass it anymore for carburetor issues they say. JERKS!! It ran fine and fun to scoot around in with my dirt bike in the back.

 

[guy gadbois]

Thanx for posting this - ahhh...the days when magazine writers could actually write...

The authors are correct - the D50/Arrow were indeed the class of the field during that time, hands down. Especially with the 2.6 litre and Sport package. Won't bore yall with the whole story, but I had a D50 Sport with the 2.6 and 5 speed. Had a Cyclone Anti-Reversionary header, better tyres and shocks, plus eventually a slew of Cibies on the front. One of my favourite vehicles ever, and way towards the top of the list of 'If you could have any vehicle you've ever owned, back'. Wanted a yellow one with Plymouth written on it, but couldn't find the driveline combo we wanted locally in that colour and nameplate. Drove it all over the country, used it as a daily and rallied it somewhat successfully even. Called it "The Nuclear Truklet" as it was much quicker and handled much better than you would expect. Even had a 'TRUKLET' personalised plate.
RIP Nuclear Truklet.

 

[moparedtn]

Yay Mitsub....errr, I mean Plymouth!

 

[Cranky]

Thanx for posting this - ahhh...the days when magazine writers could actually write...

The authors are correct - the D50/Arrow were indeed the class of the field during that time, hands down. Especially with the 2.6 litre and Sport package. Won't bore yall with the whole story, but I had a D50 Sport with the 2.6 and 5 speed. Had a Cyclone Anti-Reversionary header, better tyres and shocks, plus eventually a slew of Cibies on the front. One of my favourite vehicles ever, and way towards the top of the list of 'If you could have any vehicle you've ever owned, back'. Wanted a yellow one with Plymouth written on it, but couldn't find the driveline combo we wanted locally in that colour and nameplate. Drove it all over the country, used it as a daily and rallied it somewhat successfully even. Called it "The Nuclear Truklet" as it was much quicker and handled much better than you would expect. Even had a 'TRUKLET' personalised plate.
RIP Nuclear Truklet.
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Never had a 'mini' truck but have had a slew of Dakotas which for me, is about as small as I would like....and never had a bad one. Had the 95 since 98 and dad bought it new and have owned the 96 going on 5 years. Of the 5 Dakotas that I've owned, my favorite was a 92 reg cab short box with the 5.2 and 3.90 LSD rear. That was one fun truck!

 

[moparedtn]

Never had a 'mini' truck but have had a slew of Dakotas which for me, is about as small as I would like....and never had a bad one. Had the 95 since 98 and dad bought it new and have owned the 96 going on 5 years.

The Dakota is light years beyond any in that articles' grouping - much closer to a real truck, really.
I liked both of the Dakotas I've owned, they're good little trucks...
I had an old Ford Courier given to me back in the early 80's that was so rotted that the tire store refused
to put it on a lift - said it would fold in half if he did.

 

[SteveSS]

We have a 1982? D50. Black with a blue interior. It's the Royale package with AC although that's not needed in Colorado. 5-Speed but I forget the engine size, I remember it's the larger engine. It's out at the ranch, I'll get some pictures. The paint is still very shiny, with no dents and it runs like a sewing machine. We still have the original wheels and small hubcaps but it has those steel spokes on it now. I'd love to find one of those crazy decal packages reproduced.

 

[kiwigtx]

When your former colleague weighs more than the payload.......

Bent the chassis underneath the driver's seat. This was the third vehicle Fat Bruce destroyed. Fat useless SOB crashed head-on into a small car with two old ladies in it, then bounced into that large container truck. All of this happened because he couldn't wait to get to Wendys on his way home from work, so he scarfed a bag of peanuts.....subsequently got one lodged in his throat and passed out at the wheel. The impact performed an instant 'Heimlich manoeuvre' which fired the peanut out of fatty's throat and through the windscreen like a .22 bullet. (At least that was what my bud Nathan reported back to us)
When the PoPo turned up they were going to charge the unconscious fool with "Driving with an insecure load"...until someone pointed out that the load was still attached to the roof-racks. So they changed the charge to "Littering a public road" Fatty spent a few days in hospital....had people sneaking in food for him....it was pathetic. Below is another ute he ruined....

The subsequent Snapperchat meme's on Fatty were absolutely ruthless....and still continue to this day some 7 years later.

 

[RR Fan Dan]

What’s wrong with the Chevy Luv. I drove one around when I was 19 years old in 1984. It did pretty darn good off road. And it was slightly quicker than a Suzuki Samari. Think it looks better than the Mopars Too.

 

[Detective D]

I always liked the 70's Ford Couriers. They are unobtainium in the midwest. In fact I think outside of the dessert or maybe a barn in the dry part of Kansas these have mostly returned to the earth.
One might think a ripping 289 would be the way to go, but to keep it light a turbo 4 would make more sense to me. It doesn't actually take that much power to make a 2000lb vehicle scoot.
The round headlights are what get me.
Just one more thing on the pipe dream list for me I guess.

 

[Billccm]

The TV repair shop I worked at in the late 1970s used Econoline vans with the exception of one beater Ford Courier. That truck had almost 200,000 hard miles and ran and drove great. It was actually fun to drive versus the Econoline straight six three on the tree strippers.

Both my uncles had D50 trucks that were totally bulletproof reliable all the way to 200,000 miles, but the rust was excessive. To me the D50 felt underpowered compared to the Courier.

It's a shame you can't buy a truck today that is similar. You are forced to buy a truck with $10,000 worth of problem prone electronics crap and another $5,000 of useless safety crap. The remaining $35,000 you spend buys the truck I assume.

Every look at the new Ranger? Better have $61,000 ready.

I guess we need to embrace "progress".