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Go fund me & attorney questions

Ghostrider 67 said:
The way POA's work is that when you want to revoke it you just do. Your parents can tear it up and inform the parties they no longer have it. To be safe publicize it in a newspaper and keep a copy in case they try to use it after the date it's revoked. Then, have a new POA drawn up and a witness to the signing of it. If you Mother is coherent enough to dial the phone and plead for help she's good enough to take out a new POA. Your parents can do it over the phone, call your sisters and tell them straight up, that they no longer have the POA and are no longer in charge of their affairs Period. if your sisters want to fight it then they can spend their own money in courts. Get them out of there.
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:thumbsup:

^^^^^ sounds like good advice to me ^^^^^
 
Ghostrider 67 said:
The way POA's work is that when you want to revoke it you just do. Your parents can tear it up and inform the parties they no longer have it. To be safe publicize it in a newspaper and keep a copy in case they try to use it after the date it's revoked. Then, have a new POA drawn up and a witness to the signing of it. If you Mother is coherent enough to dial the phone and plead for help she's good enough to take out a new POA. Your parents can do it over the phone, call your sisters and tell them straight up, that they no longer have the POA and are no longer in charge of their affairs Period. if your sisters want to fight it then they can spend their own money in courts. Get them out of there.
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Umm, can i buy you a case of your favorite beverage ? That is very enlightening. Thank you sir ! Best news i've heard all day ! :)
 
Aarons Air said:
Umm, can i buy you a case of your favorite beverage ? That is very enlightening. Thank you sir ! Best news i've heard all day ! :)
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I don't drink . It's my pleasure to be of any small assistance. That is exactly the way I would go about it. I would not even speak to the sisters about at all. Just give the notice and move them. No court has put them there. Your sisters can shout all day long that it's their responsibility to put them wherever but as long as your parents are standing next to you and saying the opposite, absent a court order they can go pound sand. Have then also revoke the executorship as well.
 
Ghostrider 67 said:
I don't drink . It's my pleasure to be of any small assistance. That is exactly the way I would go about it. I would not even speak to the sisters about at all. Just give the notice and move them. No court has put them there. Your sisters can shout all day long that it's their responsibility to put them wherever but as long as your parents are standing next to you and saying the opposite, absent a court order they can go pound sand. Have then also revoke the executorship as well.
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May God bless you. Information is a powerful thing.
 
I would like to say a word of thanks to everyone. It stands to reason, the same people with the intelligence to appreciate vintage Mopar's , have the intellect to shed light on a dark situation. I am appreciative.
 
Ghostrider 67 said:
The way POA's work is that when you want to revoke it you just do. Your parents can tear it up and inform the parties they no longer have it. To be safe publicize it in a newspaper and keep a copy in case they try to use it after the date it's revoked. Then, have a new POA drawn up and a witness to the signing of it. If you Mother is coherent enough to dial the phone and plead for help she's good enough to take out a new POA. Your parents can do it over the phone, call your sisters and tell them straight up, that they no longer have the POA and are no longer in charge of their affairs Period. if your sisters want to fight it then they can spend their own money in courts. Get them out of there.
Click to expand...

Ghostrider 67 said:
The way POA's work is that when you want to revoke it you just do. Your parents can tear it up and inform the parties they no longer have it. To be safe publicize it in a newspaper and keep a copy in case they try to use it after the date it's revoked. Then, have a new POA drawn up and a witness to the signing of it. If you Mother is coherent enough to dial the phone and plead for help she's good enough to take out a new POA. Your parents can do it over the phone, call your sisters and tell them straight up, that they no longer have the POA and are no longer in charge of their affairs Period. if your sisters want to fight it then they can spend their own money in courts. Get them out of there.
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You might want to make sure you have accessto thier funds first.
If sis is on checking account, that money might as well been hers.
 
padam said:
You might want to make sure you have accessto thier funds first.
If sis is on checking account, that money might as well been hers.
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Good point. Have your parents call the bank, or go there, and change that. Or failing that, cancel the accounts and migrate the funds to new one(s) with you as the only authorized person to access them. Use the new POA for that.Have them tell the bank that the old POA is revoked and show them the newspaper clipping.
 
Wow I feel sorry for you. I wish you the best, and always think about what they want ( sounds like you have) . It makes me sad how nursing/ adult homes rob our families of their savings, life and everything they can get... I see big adult care places being built all over and it makes me sick.. They treat staff poorly and the good leave usually and then you get what you get. The lawyers are as bad as politicians— the don’t mind breaking it off because they know they are getting paid and don’t care about anything else. Any possibility of having them move in with you and or build a small mother in law house out back? That’s my theory ... in the old days I think that’s what they did.. Or could you move in there and have assistance? With my grandparents my dad and his / our family did a wonderful job taking care of grandma up to the point the couldn’t , then visited daily.. The family never ever squabbled and grandpa’s request was carried out in full.. He told dad take care of mom.. they did and well. I sincerely wish you the best.. it’s a subject we all have to address and I guess I’m going to die broke because I’ll give it to my kids before letting them steal it... Illinois want to put a stout death tax in I could see that nabbing a bunch.. My thought is be respectful, truthful and open and honest.. (I’m sure you are) Do what’s best and what they request.. home is home.
 
I hate to be the voice of reality here, but there isn't a simple fix for this.

In my case, my father is such an asshole that no one can live with him, and he wouldn't be happy living with anybody.

He pissed my sisters off, so they jumped on that opportunity to wash their hands of him.

Now it falls to me. I guess I could do the same thing, as that seems to be the modern thinking - rid your life of anybody that interferes with your happiness.

But I still love the old man. Type A personality, but he helped many more people in his life than he hurt. Did some really great things.

It would be ideal if he could live with us, (we just moved my mother in law in under similar circumstances), but he is not compatible with my wife.

So believe it or not, I think assisted living is the most cost effective solution.
 
Get a competent eldercare attorney.
They can set up POA, and asset protection.
 
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Slap Stick said:
Get a competent eldercare attorney.
They can set up POA, asset protection, and asset protection.
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POA they can do.

Asset protection is something they all talk about, but I have never gotten proof that it can be done (by the non-rich.)
 
hanks73340 said:
Remember, eventually when the monies run out, that facility will be able to put a lien on the house if still in your parents name. I think it sucks that your sister is behaving this way and not really communicating with you. Try at least to get the house in your name. Also check with the V.A. about legal assistance. I went thru this with my dad and it was not an easy fight with my brother but he finally saw the sense of it all in it. Good luck.
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In NY if the assets were transferred 5 or more years before ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,they can't touch it:thumbsup:
If under 5 years they can come after the recipients of the assets.
Wishing you good luck!
 
padam said:
Is it just a matter transferring funds 5 years before?
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It cost $3k to $5k to setup a revocable trust. Believe it needs to be in existence 5 years before it is safe from most states. Need a lawyer to give a definite answer. My mothers when done was 3 years before being safe, didn't make it. My sister lived in NY and took her there where $100k is for heirs, not now as hemi-tis said.
 
Fran Blacker said:
It cost $3k to $5k to setup a revocable trust. Believe it needs to be in existence 5 years before it is safe from most states. Need a lawyer to give a definite answer. My mothers when done was 3 years before being safe, didn't make it. My sister lived in NY and took her there where $100k is for heirs, not now as hemi-tis said.
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I think what we are talking about is sheltering assets so Medicaid willcover their long term care.

I believe that a revocable trust does no good in this regard, courts will not recognize it.

Lawyers told me the trust needs to be IRREVOCABLE, and even then it is dicey.

Also most of the nicer facilities don't take medicaid.

Please forgive me for offending any lawyers present, but they remind me of needle exchanges: we need them but the world would be a better place if we didn't.
 
There are some long term facilities that will boot your loved ones to the curb when their assets are gone,but there are mant that will keep you with just your Social Security and pension if there is one.
We are in the wrong biz!:mad:
 
Sad stuff is common with aging parents. My 84 year old mother also dementia and in assisted living. That is an expensive solution for many. Not unusual for family to end up in financial disputes as a result. I’m fortunate we don’t have that going on. But....
Mom remarried about 15 years ago and had assets including a nice home in Tampa. They had a pre marital contract separating their before marriage money and assets. And since they moved into her house.....also in that contract was if she were to end up in a situation like she is now, the husband could continue to live in the house. This POS had my mother sign the house over to him when the dementia was just taking over. Used the dementia to do that. We only found out he had done this when a tax bill needed to be paid. Cost us about 20K in legal fees to turn that back. Cost him even more trying to defend his elder abuse I think.
The China virus has closed her facility to visitors so haven’t been able to see her since last my last trip there December 2019.
 
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