Old people.

[68BabyBlue]

We like to experiment on our elderly with different ways of extending their life through a process I call, better living through chemistry. Why does this bother me so much, I go in for surgery this coming Wednesday to repair the mistake left by a doctor 6 or 7 years ago. It's not about the mistake, it's the fact that they talk in circles hoping to lose you along the way. I had a talk with this doctor some time back and was made to feel like she was smarter than me. I told her I was 52 when I retired, keep it up and you'll never retire. She just stared at me, like, how dare you talk to me that way. She shut up and was smart enough to walk away. No I didn't sue her, but I got a bigger kick out of watching her squirm. 50,000 a year for malpractice insurance is a problem. 700 to 15,000 a month, depending on their field. That's why many join a medical group.

My dad had elective heart surgery at 82. Medical professions gets compensated with fees for service, creates an inherent conflict of interest. Dad had great insurance coverage. Result was he lived long enough to need three years of full time nursing care at the end. When I came out of the closet with my polio history, current doctor asked me if I wanted testing to see if it was something else. I said no, the only way to get a definitive diagnosis is a black hole of testing, huge costs, and lots of discomfort at a minimum. I washed out of pre-med, and wrote for a medical newspaper, first job out of college. I know at bit more about the situation than most present day physicians.

Told her, no thanks, with no sensory nerve symptoms, only other thing it could be would be ALS, and this is not it. She got my respect, when she agreed, and said she just wanted to give me options in case I was trying to get insurance to pay for my equipment. I fired the doctor before her. Talk in circles, CYA type. When I was in private law practice, I was told not to see the local medical talent for anything serious. Low jury verdicts provide a haven for lower tier providers in my area.

 

[Dennis H]

On the subject of Long Term Care LTC. MetLife are whores and not worth a ****. I have LTC through CalPers. Started paying at age 38, advertised to never go up. It quadrupled. Still paying to this day as it has no cash value and would lose a lifetime of payments if I quit now. Should have put it in a Roth. As said above, if you don’t have a relative or loved one to look after you, you WILL be parked and unattended EXCEPT when you luck out with a caregiver who cares. There are some.
I got a good look at most aspects of the system with my Mom last year, my son this year and it is FRIGHTENING.

 

[68BabyBlue]

The last decade I maintained my law license, I took all my required CLE credits in elder law. I saw the issues of long term care insurance, medicaid coverage, and asset sheltering beaten to death by experts who were the best of the best. Extremely disconcerting to see a room full of qualified lawyers all in agreement that there was no good answer, and the problem would get worse as the boomers reached the end of their shelf life.

 

[j-c-c-62]

On the subject of Long Term Care LTC. MetLife are whores and not worth a ****. I have LTC through CalPers. Started paying at age 38, advertised to never go up. It quadrupled. Still paying to this day as it has no cash value and would lose a lifetime of payments if I quit now. Should have put it in a Roth. As said above, if you don’t have a relative or loved one to look after you, you WILL be parked and unattended EXCEPT when you luck out with a caregiver who cares. There are some.
I got a good look at most aspects of the system with my Mom last year, my son this year and it is FRIGHTENING.

I burn my candle at both ends and, in the middle, I say everything I feel important, am glad I wake up every morning, and lived a full enough life that I could bore a room full of people for years recounting my experiences. 

I am not getting "parked" anywhere.

 

[padam]

My wife and I both have long term insurance. Not cheap but won’t be a burden on our kids. I hope I go fast but you never know. Trying to make their burden a bit less.

Boy did I have to battle with J. H*ock to get them to pay on my dad's policy!

 

[padam]

My hope for the future, is that AI can be used to find solutions to these problems.
(I know a lot of resources need to be set aside to make womens breasts look bigger, but we should be able to do both.)

 

[68BabyBlue]

Boy did I have to battle with J. H*ock to get them to pay on my dad's policy!

The insurance companies have lost a ton of money on these policies. Their actuaries missed the mark by mile. The problem is they never take the hit, it's always passed off to the policy holder. I followed the path that Dennis said he should have taken, and totally pissed off my mother, who was an insurance agent. I stopped carrying non-medical insurance of any kind after I reached mid-life, and maxed out my IRA contributions. Turned out to be the right call.

 

[padam]

The insurance companies have lost a ton of money on these policies. Their actuaries missed the mark by mile. The problem is they never take the hit, it's always passed off to the policy holder. I followed the path that Dennis said he should have taken, and totally pissed off my mother, who was an insurance agent. I stopped carrying non-medical insurance of any kind after I reached mid-life, and maxed out my IRA contributions. Turned out to be the right call.

Sounds like a good strategy.

 

[68BabyBlue]

Sounds like a good strategy.

It turned out to be. My mother was a domineering woman, who did not like being told she was wrong. I was blessed when I was promoted to my employer's corporate office, and no longer got brow beaten over my "stupid" decisions on a weekly basis. I started achieving some financial success when I started doing the exact opposite of what I was told to do when I was growing up. I was also able to take advantage of a tax loophole because my wife worked for educational institutions. For many years we were able to put over 40% of her pay in a 403(b).

 

[Russ Hood]

It's very expensive, 15,000 a month for both my parents. All places are questionable and I told them they would never know when my brother and I would show up and if my parents weren't treated right, we would be there to ensure that they walked the line. Sounds crazy, but I saw things that I didn't appreciate going on. They constantly over charged monthly with add on consumables that are hard to track. They finally let us look at the monthly bill and strike off what we didn't receive. It was hard to watch sometimes and if you don't advocate for your loved ones, they'll try to eat you alive. Sounds like BS, it's not.

And people wonder why insurance is so expensive.

 

[XS22J8R]

My mom is 91 and still mentally sharp, but the last couple years she’s been deteriorating physically. She’s been living in a high end assisted living community for over 8 years in independent living, but it’s got to the point they think she should move to the higher level of care. She pays around $7000 a month for her place, and had to put hundreds of thousands down to move in. That’s paid for out of pocket.
She has long term care insurance and recently had to start having someone come in part time 5 days a week to help her out by doing laundry, grocery shopping and take her to appointments.
Her LTC insurance is paying for the aide after 90 days which is nice. But she’s had trouble getting a good aide. A lot of really inept and sketchy people in that line of work.
She was not happy when I talked to her Friday, she had to take a new med for a week she thinks was messing her up. She said what’s the point of all these appointments and hassles, she seems to be starting to think she’s tired of life and has lived too long.
I was badly hurt in an accident in the early 90s which left me with lower body weakness and pain that I’ve been able to “play through” my disabilities for the most part thankfully, but seeing her and fellow residents of her place certainly gave me a lot to think about that isn’t pleasant, as I don’t know how many good years I have left, and I don’t have kids to look after me, so if I live to my moms age I’m going to be a lot worse off than her.
My dad was still going strong until age 83, then got cancer and was gone within 3 months. Looking back maybe he was lucky?

 

[68BabyBlue]

One of the advantages of living in a rural community is a better labor pool for aides. The two top facilities on the area pay enough to retain the top people. In a recent audit by the state of PA, they both got five stars, the competition averaged around two. My wife's younger sister dealt with home care for a severely disabled husband for 20 years. She dealt with the sketchy ones, and never knew if they would show on schedule, but at least her husband got decent care when they showed. Care aide market is much like my experience in the trucking business, much easier to find and retain decent people in rural than in metro areas.

 

[Kern Dog]

Life can be incredibly lonely when you get to that age and you look around and see that you're basically missing everyone you started with. Getting old isn't for the faint of heart.

Mine is 96, Her 86-year-old BF that she madly adored passed away last week. I live 100 miles away and only family nearby. She is mentally alert as anyone could expect a 96-year-old person to be.
It breaks my heart. Makes one question if a pacemaker is really a blessing or a curse?

I have often wondered about the difference between dying before others or being the lone survivor. Both seem to be a very sad thing.

Hell, i'm 54 and ready to go.... I think Logan's run had it right... nothing gets better after 30(ish)

Sorry that you feel that way. For me, 31-59 has been far better.

 

[YY1]

My mom is 85 and still lives in her house and mows her own grass.
She refuses to let me hire a lawn service.
She also gardens and tends flowers.

 

[padam]

My mom is 91 and still mentally sharp, but the last couple years she’s been deteriorating physically. She’s been living in a high end assisted living community for over 8 years in independent living, but it’s got to the point they think she should move to the higher level of care. She pays around $7000 a month for her place, and had to put hundreds of thousands down to move in. That’s paid for out of pocket.
She has long term care insurance and recently had to start having someone come in part time 5 days a week to help her out by doing laundry, grocery shopping and take her to appointments.
Her LTC insurance is paying for the aide after 90 days which is nice. But she’s had trouble getting a good aide. A lot of really inept and sketchy people in that line of work.
She was not happy when I talked to her Friday, she had to take a new med for a week she thinks was messing her up. She said what’s the point of all these appointments and hassles, she seems to be starting to think she’s tired of life and has lived too long.
I was badly hurt in an accident in the early 90s which left me with lower body weakness and pain that I’ve been able to “play through” my disabilities for the most part thankfully, but seeing her and fellow residents of her place certainly gave me a lot to think about that isn’t pleasant, as I don’t know how many good years I have left, and I don’t have kids to look after me, so if I live to my moms age I’m going to be a lot worse off than her.
My dad was still going strong until age 83, then got cancer and was gone within 3 months. Looking back maybe he was lucky?

They say it’s best to live a full life, and pass after a short illness. Who know?

I’ve left instructions to ensure I won’t waste away in a nursing home or LTC facility.

 

[RemCharger]

My mom is 85 and still lives in her house and mows her own grass.
She refuses to let me hire a lawn service.
She also gardens and tends flowers.

One day I was glancing over at the neighbor lady's back yard and there she was with the lawnmower flipped over sharpening the blade ... ( around the same age, lived in the house since new, '62).
Holy crap now there was a tough bird.

 

[Runcharger]

Yup: I plan to die in my Viper, at 200MPH. Getting old is nice if you're healthy but I like to be in control of my situation if possible. My Dad enjoyed driving and was one of the best drivers (of any sort of vehicle) and equipment operators out there. When he told me at about 85 that he didn't want to drive anymore I knew it was over. He did live to 92 but I think he died inside when he quit driving. For other people it might be something else but for my Dad driving represented his free life. And sitting in a meeting where these $240k/year professionals discuss what to do with a man with more moral and work ethics than all of them put together is stomach turning, of course the first thing these professionals do is check the victim's bank account. My Mom and Dad may have struggled and worked hard but they also saved well and these pro's are more concerned with getting all of those savings than making sure their victim is comfortable.

 

[1967coronet]

All of us are just a heart beat away from having someone else call the shots for us.
We have completed all the legal steps for our kids to take over when the time comes.
We will look out for each other my wife and I but someday it will just be one of us left.
Everyone no matter of income level must have the legal end in order.

 

[Hey-O]

On the subject of Long Term Care LTC. MetLife are whores and not worth a ****. I have LTC through CalPers. Started paying at age 38, advertised to never go up. It quadrupled. Still paying to this day as it has no cash value and would lose a lifetime of payments if I quit now. Should have put it in a Roth. As said above, if you don’t have a relative or loved one to look after you, you WILL be parked and unattended EXCEPT when you luck out with a caregiver who cares. There are some.
I got a good look at most aspects of the system with my Mom last year, my son this year and it is FRIGHTENING.

Years ago my broker offered me long term care insurance. Theresa didn't qualify because she has Stargardt disease, she's had since she was about 18, which is a form of Macular degeneration. It has no bearing on her health or projected length of life. If she can't have it, I don't want it. At this point it doesn't matter. My fear has always been leaving her alone.

 

[Triplegreen500]

I've been dead once...every day is a gift. Died in an accident at 34; 52 now. Too ornery to go anywhere, and when I do I plan to do it at 200 mph with (what's left of) my hair on fire. Still own (and ride) my 0-60 in under 2 seconds sportbike, and don't plan to give it up anytime soon.

We lost dad in '15 after 14 months in assisted care. He was comfortable, but I could tell by his eyes he didn't like being a "burden" and having people wait on him. Mom tried to take care of him as long as she could (she'll be 89 this year and was a PT years ago, so she's wired for it)...but when he fell, she just couldn't pick him back up. When he started falling a lot...he had to go into assisted living. He had good coverage from his Navy (CDR-USN) career as well as significant private sector work after retirement, and mom has been doing well because of it.

Mom lives in a gated community where she and dad built in the early '90s, they take care of the lawn but she can (and does) do the flower gardens and shrubbery. Washes her car, walks 2 mi a day, only gave up tennis 3 years ago. Current boyfriend has health issues, but...caregiver. I keep an eye on her finances, help her around the house, and am planning for when I'll inevitably need to move down there and take care of her. But...it's what we do for family. We have convos every now and then where she's tired of losing her friends - I tell her "that's what you get for being so healthy" and she laughs...but it's there. She's starting to lose more and more of her extended family; more and more are getting sick...she's not "ready", but she is definitely noticing it.