lost my best friend

[66 Sat]

You are suffering from depression. Severe depression by the sound of it.

Very hard to get yourself out of it on your own, but it can be done.

Get professional help asap. Your friend's passing is now ruining your life as well as your family.

He would be shocked and saddened if he knew this was happening - he would want you to be celebrating the memories of your friendship, not letting your life go down the drain.

 

[SteveSS]

Anytime we get a pet unless it's a parrot or something that has a 70-year life span we have to prepare ourselves that we will outlive our pet. If that's not acceptable don't get a pet. That's just the facts.

 

[HawkRod]

I agree with Hey-O.

I too have dealt with loss, and there are some typical stages we all go through: shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, depression, acceptance (and I'm sure I messed up the order and/or missed some). The point is, that dealing with loss is a progression through stages. Sometimes a friend with a cold beverage is enough to talk things through, but sometimes we need more. Being depressed with no zest for life is a huge warning sign. Please get some counseling. Getting counseling doesn't mean you are weak, dumb, etc. It means you need to work through what has happened to you and there are some excellent professionals that can help you through that.

 

[Hey-O]

Just need to vent to other guys who may have been here before.... I could tell you stories of how my life has changed and how life will never be the same. I could tell you that more than just me, my wife was robbed of the things that she loved most in life and she has changed in ways I can't describe. I spend most every day with her and I sometimes wonder if there is a God, can he explain why it feels like we carry the weight of what feels like enough for a dozen families. My family is my number one concern and his family is not your responsibly, but your family is and survivors guilt doesn't make all this your fault or your responsibility. Life is for the living, so start living.

 

[jprather]

Thank all of you for taking the time to reply. I have always dealt with depression, I have learned its just part of me. even at this age, i still dont realize when it hits, especially this hard. its times like these that i find myself reaching out. It helps me to realize where i have sunk to, and that i need to " snap " out of the fog.
sometimes, it does take others to tell me I am so deep into the depression.
thats what i love about this place, there are so many on here I will never meet, but we all take time to reach out to each other .

thank you all again for helping me through this

 

[jprather]

Anytime we get a pet unless it's a parrot or something that has a 70-year life span we have to prepare ourselves that we will outlive our pet. If that's not acceptable don't get a pet. That's just the facts.

SteveSS
not sure what this has to due with my situation ?

 

[Moms68]

Sometimes taking a walk, exercising, listening to music, or just getting away from the noise of everyday life can make a big difference. We all fall into a funk once in a while, so it does help when you can share that even though no one can really put themselves in your life. It is important to not put up walls between you and the people that love you. You are not alone in this journey.

 

[roadrunnerh]

Please accept my condolences.

 

[Hey-O]

If you are truly suffering from depression, then you already know what to do next. Few that are proven to have clinical depression can fix themselves.

 

[HawkRod]

Thank all of you for taking the time to reply. I have always dealt with depression, I have learned its just part of me. even at this age, i still dont realize when it hits, especially this hard. its times like these that i find myself reaching out. It helps me to realize where i have sunk to, and that i need to " snap " out of the fog.
sometimes, it does take others to tell me I am so deep into the depression.
thats what i love about this place, there are so many on here I will never meet, but we all take time to reach out to each other .

thank you all again for helping me through this

Sometimes we need to focus on all the good things we have. Certainly, losing a best friend is tough, but also look at all the other positives you have in your life. Some may be monetary and some may be friends and family. Only you can determine what those positives are. Personally, I find it valuable to force myself to consider all those when I am in a funk.

 

[YY1]

I'm sure being in a somewhat "new" environment isn't helping since you don't really have any nearby long term friends for support.

...but FBBO is here.

 

[jprather]

I'm sure being in a somewhat "new" environment isn't helping since you don't really have any nearby long term friends for support.

...but FBBO is here.

YY,

I think that has been the worst part. I moved up here so Todd and I could be closer. Now, I'm here with pretty much no one but my wife and kids, and both of them just moved out.

when I think about the depression, I liken it to being a kid, outside playing, and you hear your mother calling you to come inside, and you suddenly realize its dark outside, and you dont remember the sun setting and it getting dark, sometimes , I just need to here that voice calling out to make me look around and see the sun has set on the day

 

[jprather]

been thinking about some of the comments i have received on this, and I cant help but kinda smile and think, if Todd were here, his advice to me would be.. " stop being a pussy, lets hit the nudie bar, looking at boobies cures everything "

 

[YY1]

Almost.

Touching them, OTOH......

 

[YY1]

@jprather

Have you been over to the "Best Chest Ever" thread?


https://www.forbbodiesonly.com/moparforum/threads/best-chest-ever.235264/

 

[jprather]

actually yes ! i posted the lili munster. yea, that thread does make me smile

 

[crahill39]

actually yes ! i posted the lili munster. yea, that thread does make me smile

Sent you a pm.

 

[crahill39]

I met your friend when he bought my GTX a few years back. He was quite the character in person and a total car guy. My daughter was almost killed in a car wreck, which is why I ended up selling the car. They money from the sale was going to help teach her to walk again and help cover the expenses. He was gracious, funny, and quite a character. He used to send me pictures of the car and ask me if I was ok with the small changes he was making. He could tell I was attached to the car, and those texts proved he was a true car guy and fellow dad. I am truly sorry to hear of his passing, and I hope you find some peace and healing. You can reach out to me in PM's if you want to talk or vent.

 

[jprather]

I just want to say THANK YOU to all the members who reached out, I need someone to point out to me that i have slipped back into a depression, I never see it.
once someone points it out, I know what i need to do. I do feel much better at this moment, and I am taking some steps to continue to pull myself up.

thank you again to all

 

[GetX'd]

I just came across this thread for the first time. I’ve been on hiatus for awhile. I’m truly sorry for the loss of such a dear friend. You’re right it’s a rarity in life to have a someone that close for so long. Especially for guys. Close friends yes but most of the time not often as you describe. No doubt the Lord will bring you two together again one day if you have faith.

I would also suggest and assure you that there is absolutely no shame in speaking to a professional and possibly trying some meds for a while. The quality and efficacy of what’s available today is remarkable. Pls try that direction if you’re in need - it can be near impossible to pull out without a little temporary help.

I wish you and your friends family all of God’s peace