Quick Ed Story Time!
Deadbeat neighbor is finally getting tossed out of my dads' former farmhouse next door, along with his family.
He's managed to kill off three riding mowers in succession, trying to mow what I used to for Pop using a tractor.
Regardless of his lack of motivation to provide for he and his in this life, he's always been kind to everyone and
the best kind of neighbor - quiet, no trouble, even keeps an eye out when I'm gone.
He's a good dude, his kids both grew up polite and productive....yada yada, you get the deal here.
So...a couple days ago, he asks to borrow my tractor with the finish mower on the back - part of what he has
to do to get clear of the lease is to get the veritable hayfield chopped back down to acceptable levels.
Keep in mind, I have NEVER loaned out anything of real value to anyone before - it's all come too hard to do
that - so the natural reaction was "nope"...
but then a little voice in the back of my head said "go ahead, it'll be fine and you're right up the ridge."
Dammit...warning bell #1 went off in my noggin.
I tell him I got to fetch some diesel for it first, but he holds up his pudgy paw and says "no worries, I got a bunch
of diesel. I'll fill it up, free of charge."
That should have been warning bell #2....'cause it was.
He commences to mowing and I head back up the ridge, praying all would be well and I'd get some sort of
atta boy award from the heavens over this.
Well, that didn't last long...I hear my tractor stop, but it isn't a "turn the key" sort of off.
No, this sounded a lot more - odd.
Warning bell #3 ringing in my head, I damn near race back down the ridge in the Ram....
And discover my tractor just sitting there, doing nothing but otherwise unscathed.
Neighbor has a flummoxed expression on his face, like the RCA Victor dog on those old record labels.
"What happened?"
"Stopped running."
"Uhhh, any idea why?"
"Nope. I filled it up and started mowing, then it just laid down."
I pick up the empty gas can he pointed to when he said that and instinctively gave a sniff of the contents...
WARNING BELL #4!! Oh hell, I'm gonna KILL me a neighbor!
That ain't diesel I'm smelling - that's stagnant old GASOLINE!
I chuck down the can, cursing like a tourettes sufferer under my breath, trying to maintain calm...
"Uhhh, neighbor? That ain't diesel!"
"Well, SURE it is... I think? I was told it was, anyways!"
He now realizes how close to death he is and instinctively steps back, stammering apologies and such nonsense...
and I expect the worst has happened to my beloved 20+ year old tractor.
So, now you know where the title of this post comes from...haven't spoken/seen the dude since, either.
I managed to get away from him and dragged the tractor back up to my place (ever-faithful Ram to the rescue yet
again!).
I figured, what the heck, before giving up on the old girl I'd flush the tank and lines and get some fresh diesel in
her, then observe what happened....and don't you know, that rascal came back to life and apparently runs fine now!
I figured he'd blown the damn thing up for sure....tough little diesels those Iseki folks make, I tell ya.
Younger me would have been ragin' angry all up in the neighbors' grille over such a stupid, irresponsible thing.
Me now? I'm literally ate up with empathy for the poor ignorant fella - and even a tiny bit of gratitude for not only
what he's been as a neigbor, but even for the offer to fuel the tractor, misguided though that turned out to be.
So - am I just getting soft?