Need some Women advice guys.

[oldbee]

I'm definitely not one to give advice, had few girlfriends, never was good with social interactions, didn't know how to approach them, etc. I met my wife 20 years ago at a wedding reception, I'm not much for dancing but when I saw her I knew I had to try and the rest is history.

Exactly Dev, mine of 52yrs came in to get gas in her dad’s car. (I don’t think she ever pumped her own gas!)

 

[YY1]

Mine pumps her own gas, washes her own car, operates her own nail gun and compound, sliding miter saw.......and doesn't pick out my clothes.

 

[68BabyBlue]

For the single guys out there, meeting a good woman can happen anywhere. It does not have to be just the bars or the online dating sites. I tried both and met a lot of women that way. Some were fun, some were as boring as an insurance seminar.

Single women do want relationships but they can sense desperation. Most are not attracted to weak acting men. They are attracted to confidence. Appearance does matter. If you are ugly, you will really need to develop some social skills. I've known ugly guys that ended up with decent looking women. It is not just about money. It helps but it is not everything. AS chatty as women are, they want to feel like you are engaged in the conversation with them.
You have to have some conversation skills and it can't just be about cars.
You should dress well. You don't need a tuxedo but you should have clean clothes that fit. I have known plenty of women that are attracted to blue collar type guys. Strong hands, confident eyes and a duty to protect are traits that appeal to most women.
Bad boys attract women for the short term but these relationships usually end quickly. Getting a "lot of women" is not the same as getting a great woman.

My wife of 45 years would second this, with one additional piece of advice - "trim your darn nose hairs!" Her two younger brothers are both single. They were far better looking than me when they were younger, but both played their cards poorly, and now they've deteriorated to a point they've been hermits for three decades, not a pretty sight. Some women like projects, but I think most like a daily driver that needs a little cleaning up. Demographics also work in favor of older males, if they can accept women their own age. I've experienced this at high school reunions, from women who would never have looked at me back in the day. Absolutely you need to able to talk about something besides cars. My wife points this out if I get sloppy.

 

[Kern Dog]

I have two friends that have been in and out of relationships with women for the entire time that I've known them. Nothing lasts for them.
One is fat and bald. He refuses to send pictures when he responds to the online dating sites. He used to just meet them at a restaurant. I suspect that he bought a LOT of meals that went nowhere. He did have a few relationships but they all had a curious common denominator. All the women had homes that needed repair. This guy likes to consider himself as a Handyman so I'm sure during conversation, he spoke of that and these women saw a cheap way to get their houses fixed up.
The other guy just wants to be loved. He had a hard childhood and as a result, he settled for women that were wrong for him just to have someone. That was a thing that I wanted to avoid....Nobody likes to feel lonely but it is possible to be married (to the wrong person) and still unfulfilled, lonely and trapped.

 

[chtampa]

I have two friends that have been in and out of relationships with women for the entire time that I've known them. Nothing lasts for them.
One is fat and bald. He refuses to send pictures when he responds to the online dating sites. He used to just meet them at a restaurant. I suspect that he bought a LOT of meals that went nowhere. He did have a few relationships but they all had a curious common denominator. All the women had homes that needed repair. This guy likes to consider himself as a Handyman so I'm sure during conversation, he spoke of that and these women saw a cheap way to get their houses fixed up.
The other guy just wants to be loved. He had a hard childhood and as a result, he settled for women that were wrong for him just to have someone. That was a thing that I wanted to avoid....Nobody likes to feel lonely but it is possible to be married (to the wrong person) and still unfulfilled, lonely and trapped.

Meeting at a restaurant and paying for a meal is absolutely the very worst first "meet" there is. The guy has set a precedent that he is now financially responsible for every subsequent date.

 

[Kern Dog]

 

[chtampa]

View attachment 1396444

So, insert your card!

 

[68BabyBlue]

Meeting at a restaurant and paying for a meal is absolutely the very worst first "meet" there is. The guy has set a precedent that he is now financially responsible for every subsequent date.

This reminds me how old I am, and how times have changed. I was single just before the dawn of the women's movement. It was expected for the guy to pay, and was an indicator of one's ability to provide, a serious consideration in that era. I took my dates to nice restaurants, during my college days, sometimes dropped a week's wages I'd earned at the student union cafeteria. There were more times than not, when I got taken advantage of, but only for one evening. If the chemistry wasn't right, I chalked it up to polishing my conversational skills and moved on.

I had a feeling with my wife to be, and took her to the most expensive place in town, a restaurant she refuses to patronize in our current life, because of poor value. She told me to go cheap from that point on, she knew what I put in to earn the money. Her insight has served us well for five decades.

 

[chtampa]

This reminds me how old I am, and how times have changed. I was single just before the dawn of the women's movement. It was expected for the guy to pay, and was an indicator of one's ability to provide, a serious consideration in that era. I took my dates to nice restaurants, during my college days, sometimes dropped a week's wages I'd earned at the student union cafeteria. There were more times than not, when I got taken advantage of, but only for one evening. If the chemistry wasn't right, I chalked it up to polishing my conversational skills and moved on.

I had a feeling with my wife to be, and took her to the most expensive place in town, a restaurant she refuses to patronize in our current life, because of poor value. She told me to go cheap from that point on, she knew what I put in to earn the money. Her insight has served us well for five decades.

Women are a lot different now, hence the "good guys finish last" saying, and that is a shame. First dates should have a time constraint anyway to help develop attraction. That is why coffee or a drink is usually the preferred menu. I don't drink either one so my first dates were ice cream. That allows a half hour to hang out and if you are attracted you haven't had time to screw it up and you can go out a second time.

 

[Kern Dog]

I don't drink either one so my first dates were ice cream. That allows a half hour to hang out.

Yeah...you can also assess their licking style. That is important as well.

 

[demonram]

It’s not so easy anymore. I’ve said it in other threads, I’ll say it here. If you’re a daddy’s money trust fund millionaire d bag, you’re fine. If you’re a bar hopping mistreating d bag drunk you’ll do fine. However if you are in the middle like me, if you can cook, clean, have a decent house, have a steady job, any mechanical sense, you’re f****d. Women don’t want practical anymore, they a holes with a ton of money, or drunks that’ll mis treat them. I’m 26 and never dated and definitely never been married, and as the days go by, the hope diminishes.

Or maybe it’s just me, idk

Bud, don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ve all known someone who just had to be with a steady or get married, made them feel complete. When the right one comes along, just take your time. Too many rush in and wind up crashed and burned. Those women have always been there. I think the internet has probably brought more of that out. I can’t honestly say, I’ve never done it. One day when you least expect it, a spark will happen. Let nature take it’s course.

 

[68BabyBlue]

Bud, don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ve all known someone who just had to be with a steady or get married, made them feel complete. When the right one comes along, just take your time. Too many rush in and wind up crashed and burned. Those women have always been there. I think the internet has probably brought more of that out. I can’t honestly say, I’ve never done it. One day when you least expect it, a spark will happen. Let nature take it’s course.

I watched a high school buddy of mine fall into this trap. A girl he met when we were both 17. He was way out of her league, but she played to his ego well. He married her seven years later, luckily no kids, she left him for a loser she had two kids with, before he disappeared. Nearly 20 years later, my friend met the woman who he has now been married to for 25 years. She is a chemical engineer, who was attractive enough to have been a model. They met by chance through his work.

 

[JR_Charger]

Lots of bad advice here, been married almost 30 years

You met your wife in the before times. There were not even cell phones back then, and internet had only begun to enter the home. It's a different ballgame now.

 

[440+6]

You met your wife in the before times. There were not even cell phones back then, and internet had only begun to enter the home. It's a different ballgame now.

I agree to a certain point.
I don't think blaming the internet is an excuse.

 

[JR_Charger]

I don't think blaming the internet is an excuse.

But when was the last time you tried dating?

 

[440+6]

But when was the last time you tried dating?

Early 90s, you may be right.

 

[Speedbird]

Welcome to "Divorce Month".
"A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. "
See post 333 (et. seq.)

 

[GetX'd]

It’s not so easy anymore. I’ve said it in other threads, I’ll say it here. If you’re a daddy’s money trust fund millionaire d bag, you’re fine. If you’re a bar hopping mistreating d bag drunk you’ll do fine. However if you are in the middle like me, if you can cook, clean, have a decent house, have a steady job, any mechanical sense, you’re f****d. Women don’t want practical anymore, they a holes with a ton of money, or drunks that’ll mis treat them. I’m 26 and never dated and definitely never been married, and as the days go by, the hope diminishes.

Or maybe it’s just me, idk

C’mon young brother - Jason didn’t we mix a lot of this stuff in that conversation sometime back? There are some things you have partly right - but at 26 you haven’t even lived yet. Sure there are some women that want those guys but most never last thru a marriage. And the ones that want that usually rue the day or days they opted that way. Most women Really do want a guy like you and you WILL find that woman or she’ll find you one day. First marriage at 28 and my god did she put me thru hell - and was even doing so pre-marriage but I was the only one that couldn’t see what she was doing. My friends were afraid to tell me things they saw and knew. I dated but stayed purposely single for 20 years because of that. I simply had no trust in women. Then at 50 I met a woman that was formed from the clouds the our Lord had floating thru the heavens. It still took me 5 years to pull the trigger because of all I had experienced prior. But I did and wow have I been a blessed man.

I say all this not to highlight my own life but to let you know how strange and serendipitous life can be. At 26 you’ve barely begun to open the wrapper. My wife would ONLY want a guy like you - Nothing short of all those good characteristics you have would have intrigued her. There are thousands of guys on this forum that will tell you she comes along when you least expect it - you don’t “make” it happen. Just be alert and aware and don’t try too hard. When you meet someone just be your self and don’t over do it - just let things happen naturally. She’ll recognize it and hopefully so will you. You had to hit me in the head with a frying pan when I was young for me to notice a woman was flirting with me. Serious - I just didn’t get it. If I had a daughter you’re the kind of young man I’d want to her to meet. I think most fathers would say the same. You have it you just don’t believe in yourself. In a way you’re lucky so many of those other women go after the rich dudes and the bad boy types - because that just clears the playing field for a guy like you to meet one that isn’t after all that trash. And believe me they are out there. At 26 just take your time and let the Good Lord do his work - I guarantee life will happen to you when you least expect it.

 

[GetX'd]

I have to ask what’s already been asked - how the heck did a 10 year old thread get resurrected and become the trending thread every day when I open this forum? There’s more new commentary on it now then when it originated 10 yrs ago.

 

[Speedbird]

It’s not so easy anymore. I’ve said it in other threads, I’ll say it here. If you’re a daddy’s money trust fund millionaire d bag, you’re fine. If you’re a bar hopping mistreating d bag drunk you’ll do fine. However if you are in the middle like me, if you can cook, clean, have a decent house, have a steady job, any mechanical sense, you’re f****d. Women don’t want practical anymore, they a holes with a ton of money, or drunks that’ll mis treat them. I’m 26 and never dated and definitely never been married, and as the days go by, the hope diminishes.

Or maybe it’s just me, idk