YOU'RE OLD!!!!
The "I'm so old thread......"
- Thread starter Cranky
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YOU'RE OLD!!!!
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I'm so old that it now only takes 3 beers to do what 10 used to.....wait, maybe that's a good thing.....?
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3 beers to get same amount of piss that 10 beers use to give you, that a win, ya save on not buying 7 Buds/Miller/Coors!!
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Well, I usually have a mixed drink to go with the piss water lol and I can't stand Miller....
Cojohnso1
Well-Known Member
I just had another Birthday. And I want out? I'm not seeing any upside to this rising number. It only deflates goals and self-image. My junk mail has changed from banking and investment opportunities to AARP and boner enhancement options. Plus my birthday cake is now a fire hazard.
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You don't have caller ID?
Wait, it gets better. Work interrupted before I could finish.
"I saw on the forums that you offer a military discount. I need to set up my prostate exam."
"I'm sorry sir. This is a powder coating shop."
Dead silence. Then he laughed really hard.
"Ya know, I have a Dana 60 housing I wanted a quote on too. I wrote down your number knowing it had SOMEthing to do with my rear end. One of 'em anyway."
I love my job.
You guys rock!
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Laughing my 'loose' butt off!! I love this site! Don't think I would laugh much without it!Wait, it gets better. Work interrupted before I could finish.
"I saw on the forums that you offer a military discount. I need to set up my prostate exam."
"I'm sorry sir. This is a powder coating shop."
Dead silence. Then he laughed really hard.
"Ya know, I have a Dana 60 housing I wanted a quote on too. I wrote down your number knowing it had SOMEthing to do with my rear end. One of 'em anyway."
I love my job.
Guess we'll be watching who has a powder coated rear end. Not talcum powdered either.
Hopefully the colors of the powder coating is NOT color samples and "TEST PATTERNS" that'll come out in RAINBOW pattern!!!
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Jacksprater
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I’m so old , I had too go see the doctor
He told me I’ve got to stop masterbating.
I said why , he said because, I’m trying to examine you …..
He told me I’ve got to stop masterbating.
I said why , he said because, I’m trying to examine you …..
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Ray70Chrg
Well-Known Member
I'm so old the telephone numbers started with 2 letters. LU3-8820 was my home phone in the Bronx. LU was short for LUDLOW. Don't know what that meant. My girlfriends # (now wife) was TR8-8380. TR was for Tremont. She lived 3 blocks away. If you wanted to call long distance you had to call the operator, iirc. Now if I want to call home I just hit the #2 button on my phone, so I have no way of ever remembering that.
It was the exchange name for the switching station.
BB BELLA
Well-Known Member
I'm an old sailor and the last hooker told me I was doing 3 knots while banging away!
not hard
not in
not getting money back
not hard
not in
not getting money back
At 85 years of age, Wally marries Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new, but aged, husband might over exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opened and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done , Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha --- you guessed it --- Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.
But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally."
Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?"
Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new, but aged, husband might over exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opened and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done , Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha --- you guessed it --- Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.
But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally."
Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?"
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