Funny or stupid things that your "friend" did.....

[dadsbee]

 

[Photon440]

We had some rather heavy loads to lift when repairing rail cars, some were big steel castings weighing thousands of pounds. On day a guy was lifting one with a forklift, and it overloaded it so the rear wheels started to float. He could go back and forth but couldn't steer. So, four guys jumped on the back to put the wheels back down. I was one of the guys, the other three were a) a foreman, b) the shop safety rep. and c) our union shop steward. We got along fairly well!

 

[SSmoothie]

I have a person I work with told me years ago that he got of of his first plane and was going to miss his connecting flight. So he jump the fence and ran across the tarmac because it was a shorter distance. He was tackled by security and held at gun point. And missed his flight because he was interrogated for a few hours. I avoid him as much as possible.

 

[ESOXER]

I got a buddy thats like "Larry Enticer" but add guns. He wore a horned viking helmet to my wedding and he was a groomsman lol.
He also took over our shuttle bus, he would open the door for the girls and say "No boobies no passage!" The shut the door and wait to be flashed. He yells "Skeeooo!" All the time.
I could go on for hours. Love that guy

 

[6872n73]

Another funny one I remembered this afternoon

IT guy and his wife got pretty drunk at the Christmas party one year and she started bragging about his 10-in penis to everyone.
Yada yada yada after Christmas shut down and we got back to work in January a few of the machinist pooled together 50$ that it wasn't really 10 in. So under peer pressure he agreed to let us measure. So so we all meet in the QC area around the marble slab and the QC guy gets out his 12-in steel rule and a t-square. He proceeds to lay it out on the table and measures up 10 and 1/2 in. IT guy raises up and says see I told you now who is paying? Jeff came prepared and reaches over and sprays all 10 and 1/2 in of uncircumcised meat with dikem ink. IT guy proceeds to grab a rag and try to wipe it off which it doesn't, then he goes to the bathroom and tries to wash and scrub for 30 minutes until he was pretty raw.
He comes out of the bathroom looking like he pissed himself and was asking all of the machinists how to get this off and all the guys could do is just laugh at him. So he goes to the tool crib and asked how to get the blue ink off off. Tool crib guy not knowing what's going on issues IT guy a can of dicem remover. .... The screams were heard throughout the shop.
He was known thereafter as Smurf - dick - IT.

 

[Ironbuilt]

I worked at my Dad's truck repair shop from the time I was tall enough to wash parts at the Safety Kleen tank. My Dad was THE biggest prick the good Lord ever created. We fought CONSTANTLY!! When I was about 13, he was working under a garbage truck and asked me to hand him something. Of course, I wasn't paying attention and handed him the wrong tool. He proceeded to scream and holler and call me every type of stupid while waving his hand for the "correct" tool. I picked up a 4LB hand drilling hammer and smashed his finger. When he got home from the emergency room, I got an *** whooping that I still feel today.
One day, I made a mistake and didn't get a hose clamp all the way over the lower radiator hose on a 237 Mack. Mind you, I rebuilt the engine in-frame and a small anti-freeze leak was my only error. I was about 19. He flipped out and we literally rolled around the shop floor fighting. I waited for him to go home and welded the top of his Snap-On toolbox closed. The *** whooping I got in the morning is one for the ages.
I could go on for days with the **** that I did to that ornery old bastard.
He died in 2001 and I miss the hell out of him!!!

 

[Kern Dog]

I love seeing cars peel out...I always have. Street, dirt, mud...it didn't matter.
The family was coming back from being out on the lake with the boat. Dad dropped us off so he could go gas up the boat. I went over to where he parked the boat.... the side yard. I dragged a hose and wetted down the grass because I wanted to see dad spin the tires. I planned to put the hose away before he got back but I must have lost track of time. He caught me and was PISSED. I didn't get to see anything from my room. I was 26.
(No I wasn't...I was 8)

 

[Ironbuilt]

I tend to take "practical jokes" a little too far. When I was in the Ironworkers union, I had this asshole co-worker that I just couldn't stand. He would run and tell on people every chance he got. After he told on me for something stupid, I got called into the bosses office. I decided to get revenge. I chained the rear end of his service truck to a safety post next to a loading dock. That is basically a concrete pillar wrapped in bright plastic. At the end of the day, he pulled away and when the chain got taught, it tore the rear from the leaf springs. Man, did I get in trouble for that. Thankfully I was good at my job and wasn't fired!!

 

[Runner 68]

We all have friends that have done some stupid stuff, right?
Sometimes the stupid stuff is done by US but it is fun to tell the story as if it happened to the other guy.
The following is true though.....
I used to be friends with this guy that I will call Mike. We met when in High School in the 80s. We worked at Burger King at the same time and years later, worked a few construction jobs together. He was always a bit unhinged and had the worst temper of any person that I ever met but over the years he did things that just went further and further out of bounds.
In his first year in construction, he destroyed 5 Skilsaws. He would sometimes get pissed off for whatever reason and smash the saw against the concrete or bash it with his hammer. He once climbed off of a roof to smash his radio because a Tim McGraw song came on and he hated that guy.
A woman broke up with him and he was really pissed about it. While out hunting, he found a dead lamb and dragged it to his truck. He then drove to a concert venue where the ex was there to see some band play. This guy paid the $12 parking fee to get in the parking lot and drove up and down the rows of cars until he found her truck, then put the dead animal on the hood of her car.
I have plenty more stories on this guy but I'll save them for next time. What stories do you have?

I have several stories about a friend named Mike, real first name, no $hit. One of hundreds of things that he did that were stupid (many with me) was to put an old 750/4 Honda engine, (on alcohol) in a Yamaha Banshee quad frame with an extended swing arm and sand paddle tires with a 160 MPH speedo mounted on the bars. I stopped by his shop during the build and asked him "**** what are you planning Mike?". His response was "I don't know, cool though, huh?"
I stopped back by his place several months later and the Banshee was sitting there with the front suspension all tore up and overall looking like a truck had run over it. I asked him "What the hell happened?".
He started his response with "Well, they tell me....."
I guess he was at local dune spot, decided to open it up on a long flat section of sand to see what the top end was. The last thing he remembered was glancing at the speedo as it crossed 120 mph, and that was it. The "They tell me" part of it was that it blew over like one of those speed boats and he rag dolled for about 100 yards. He was lucky it didn't kill him. (One of many times). A Banshee quad wasn't supposed to go that fast I guess.
Don't get me going on stories about Mike. He's still alive at 58, but limps.....heavily.

 

[1 Wild R/T]

I have several stories about a friend named Mike, real first name, no $hit. One of hundreds of things that he did that were stupid (many with me) was to put an old 750/4 Honda engine, (on alcohol) in a Yamaha Banshee quad frame with an extended swing arm and sand paddle tires with a 160 MPH speedo mounted on the bars. I stopped by his shop during the build and asked him "**** what are you planning Mike?". His response was "I don't know, cool though, huh?"
I stopped back by his place several months later and the Banshee was sitting there with the front suspension all tore up and overall looking like a truck had run over it. I asked him "What the hell happened?".
He started his response with "Well, they tell me....."
I guess he was at local dune spot, decided to open it up on a long flat section of sand to see what the top end was. The last thing he remembered was glancing at the speedo as it crossed 120 mph, and that was it. The "They tell me" part of it was that it blew over like one of those speed boats and he rag dolled for about 100 yards. He was lucky it didn't kill him. (One of many times). A Banshee quad wasn't supposed to go that fast I guess.
Don't get me going on stories about Mike. He's still alive at 58, but limps.....heavily.

Hunter S Thompson once said "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, throughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Sounds like Mike knows what he's doing....

 

[Cranky]

Another funny one I remembered this afternoon

IT guy and his wife got pretty drunk at the Christmas party one year and she started bragging about his 10-in penis to everyone.
Yada yada yada after Christmas shut down and we got back to work in January a few of the machinist pooled together 50$ that it wasn't really 10 in. So under peer pressure he agreed to let us measure. So so we all meet in the QC area around the marble slab and the QC guy gets out his 12-in steel rule and a t-square. He proceeds to lay it out on the table and measures up 10 and 1/2 in. IT guy raises up and says see I told you now who is paying? Jeff came prepared and reaches over and sprays all 10 and 1/2 in of uncircumcised meat with dikem ink. IT guy proceeds to grab a rag and try to wipe it off which it doesn't, then he goes to the bathroom and tries to wash and scrub for 30 minutes until he was pretty raw.
He comes out of the bathroom looking like he pissed himself and was asking all of the machinists how to get this off and all the guys could do is just laugh at him. So he goes to the tool crib and asked how to get the blue ink off off. Tool crib guy not knowing what's going on issues IT guy a can of dicem remover. .... The screams were heard throughout the shop.
He was known thereafter as Smurf - dick - IT.

'Off' mosquito repellent dissolves Dykem spray.....at least it does on metals lol. We used to play some games with the paste but never like that!

I worked at my Dad's truck repair shop from the time I was tall enough to wash parts at the Safety Kleen tank. My Dad was THE biggest prick the good Lord ever created. We fought CONSTANTLY!! When I was about 13, he was working under a garbage truck and asked me to hand him something. Of course, I wasn't paying attention and handed him the wrong tool. He proceeded to scream and holler and call me every type of stupid while waving his hand for the "correct" tool. I picked up a 4LB hand drilling hammer and smashed his finger. When he got home from the emergency room, I got an *** whooping that I still feel today.
One day, I made a mistake and didn't get a hose clamp all the way over the lower radiator hose on a 237 Mack. Mind you, I rebuilt the engine in-frame and a small anti-freeze leak was my only error. I was about 19. He flipped out and we literally rolled around the shop floor fighting. I waited for him to go home and welded the top of his Snap-On toolbox closed. The *** whooping I got in the morning is one for the ages.
I could go on for days with the **** that I did to that ornery old bastard.
He died in 2001 and I miss the hell out of him!!!

Man, you seem to be just as ornery! My dad and I would get into it quite a lot too but we never actually got into any hand to hand combat lol. Dad was always on my *** but would hear from other workers (his business partner too) how good he thought about my work. Maybe he didn't want them to know how much he really didn't like my work but he never fired me either....

 

[chargermll]

I have a good friend that I work with that really hates Donald Trump. So last year, right before Labor day, I get two Donald Trump bumper stickers and put them on the back of his work van. He calls me up the Friday before Labor day and starts going off about someone putting those bumper stickers on his van. He is threatening to kick the crap out of who ever did that. The whole time I'm on the phone I'm trying not to laugh. A couple months later we were talking and I kind of brought it up. He looked at me asked "you were the one that did that?" I started busting up laughing, yes it was me. No,he didn't kick the crap out of me. By then he was way over it.

 

[Ironbuilt]

'Off' mosquito repellent dissolves Dykem spray.....at least it does on metals lol. We used to play some games with the paste but never like that!



Man, you seem to be just as ornery! My dad and I would get into it quite a lot too but we never actually got into any hand to hand combat lol. Dad was always on my *** but would hear from other workers (his business partner too) how good he thought about my work. Maybe he didn't want them to know how much he really didn't like my work but he never fired me either....

I'm actually the complete opposite of ornery, most of the time I am laughing and joking around. I have a hot temper, I think it's a mixture of the Italian in me and 10 years of heavy steroid use.
My Dad had the same hot temper as I have, and unfortunately, he was quick to violence. As I got older, we had quite a few physical altercations, something that I am not proud of. I broke 3 of his ribs with a metal pipe when I was 15 years old. He smacked me in the head for something I did, I don't even remember. Dumbass me hit him back. After my *** whooping, I picked up a pipe and hit him with it. Not my fondest memories, but it happened none-the-less.

 

[Don selleck]

worked for my father in law many years ago he was bitching about us leaving the job, so one day had to take a dump, no porta-john, **** in a drywall bucket capped it off and threw it in the dumpster. well he stopped by one day after we finished taping that job to look for some spot up mud, well you guessed it, he opened that bucket up in front of the builder and homeowner in a 3 or 4 million dollar house in barton hills. Priceless.

 

[Mark Barnes]

worked for my father in law many years ago he was bitching about us leaving the job, so one day had to take a dump, no porta-john, **** in a drywall bucket capped it off and threw it in the dumpster. well he stopped by one day after we finished taping that job to look for some spot up mud, well you guessed it, he opened that bucket up in front of the builder and homeowner in a 3 or 4 million dollar house in barton hills. Priceless.

Those Ann Arbor douchebags deserve it. Good for you.

 

[Don selleck]

Those Ann Arbor douchebags deserve it. Good for you.

I agree I have made a good living off them. the builder was a very cool guy his name was Don Parish a high school music teacher at pioneer high school there. he got access to some prints for some salt box houses from the New England 17th century, and started building replica home made a killin, he passed away about 10 years ago great guy.

 

[Mark Barnes]

I agree I have made a good living off them. the builder was a very cool guy his name was Don Parish a high school music teacher at pioneer high school there. he got access to some prints for some salt box houses from the New England 17th century, and started building replica home made a killin, he passed away about 10 years ago great guy.

I remodeled houses in Ann Arbor for a real good guy for about 7 years or so. Got an education I never forgot. Carpenters EARN their money.

 

[Don selleck]

my main gig is drywall in custom remodels and high end homes, we do alot of metal framing also, and yes we earn our money.

 

[F4R/T]

One of my late buddies and I would constantly aggravate each other. He would make a mess of my tools or office I returned the favors, large zip ties on the drive shaft of his ford pick up, smack the fuel pump kill switch on the passenger kick panel of the same truck, neverseize the door handles, bottom side of the steering wheel, grease door handles you name it ... he was nam sniper and a dego he was a love or hate kinda sole and we clicked... miss him

 

[Runner 68]

Hunter S Thompson once said "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, throughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Sounds like Mike knows what he's doing....

I totally agree with that quote 1Wild. Mike is that guy.
He sure knows what he's doing on several levels, especially mechanically and how to build big HP and speed in just about anything (again, don't me started with the stories).
The problem with that quote, while cool on the surface, is knowing when to come skidding up in a cloud of smoke. Mike is still relatively healthy but in a ****-ton of pain (at a relatively young age) and will remain so until he takes the dirt nap. I'm pretty hammered up too from years of stupid **** but Mike is in so much pain from stupid **** over the years that I fear his "skidding up" may be a self induced bullet to the head.
Just a thought.