Funny or stupid things that your "friend" did.....

[1 Wild R/T]

I totally agree with that quote 1Wild. Mike is that guy.
He sure knows what he's doing on several levels, especially mechanically and how to build big HP and speed in just about anything (again, don't me started with the stories).
The problem with that quote, while cool on the surface, is knowing when to come skidding up in a cloud of smoke. Mike is still relatively healthy but in a ****-ton of pain (at a relatively young age) and will remain so until he takes the dirt nap. I'm pretty hammered up too from years of stupid **** but Mike is in so much pain from stupid **** over the years that I fear his "skidding up" may be a self induced bullet to the head.
Just a thought.

Ouch.. Not a good thought... I love being a little crazy & having much fun, but I absolutely don't want anyone to entertain thoughts of suicide...

 

[Kern Dog]

In the late 90s, Mike joined a dating service called Great Expectations.
He did not do well. It cost something like $1500 to have pictures taken, a profile made and whatever other bullshit they sold to the lonely souls that joined.
He told me...."They said that most of the members were in their 30s and 40s but it looks like they were BORN in the 30s and 40s."

 

[Hey-O]

A friend of mine had a sister who had a 69 GTO. After she left for her date one Friday, he decided we would take it out for a joy ride. We were having a great time till we pulled up to a red light and a 69 340 dart pulled up next to us. I looked over and there they were, his sister in her boyfriend's car. They both just gave us that look and It quickly went down hill from there.....

 

[Hey-O]

A friend was teaching his brother how to ride his Honda 350 motorcycle. His 66 nova was parked in the driveway and somehow he thought trying to teach him how to use the clutch and gas in the driveway was a good idea. He gave it gas and he told him more gas, more gas, then told him to let out the clutch, not mentioning not all at once. The motorcycle left on the back tire doing a wheelie throwing him off the back. The motorcycle now standing in the air drove up the back of his nova trying to climb up and over the car bouncing off the top of deck lid with the front and slid back down the trunk. It took out the deck lid, rear chrome, bumper, motorcycle's side pipe, gas tank and bent the handle bars. That's when the fight began.....

 

[Don selleck]

in the 80's a friend of mine had a yz 125 dirt bike it was pretty beat and worn out he took a run out to the bad field and ran it back towards the house where we all were standing. i said hold my beer, away i went as far back in the field as i could winding every gear to get the most out of it flying threw the 2 ft. high weeds my path strayed to the left about 2 ft. where i hit am old tractor tire well it was elbows and ******** almost flipping it came down on the side sliding across the yard finally let the bike go it stood right back up on 2 wheels and goes about 40 ft. and wham right into the side of my friends dad's house. he was not happy.

 

[69 GTX]

@69 GTX - unless the guy was a douche, y'all went too far after a while/were dicks.

Don't worry it was a 2 way street and nobody got mad, all in good fun. This was over a 10 year span, so it wasn't like that every day....

 

[SSmoothie]

My cousin imported a wife from the Philippines. He met with her once. We all told him don’t do it. He was convinced she was in it for love. They were married right away, disappeared the next day.

 

[Don selleck]

i know a guy did the same thing she hung around for 2 years and took him for 100k in the divorce. just ended a few weeks ago.

 

[Kern Dog]

My cousin imported a wife from the Philippines. He met with her once. We all told him don’t do it. He was convinced she was in it for love. They were married right away, disappeared the next day.

I heard that one of the things that the immigrant brides do is beg the new husband to help bring a bunch of her family members over.

 

[69 GTX]

I would have a lengthy prenup if I were doing that! Problem is she could be setting you up, have someone come up and whack you and split the wealth with her family.

 

[Don selleck]

I heard that one of the things that the immigrant brides do is beg the new husband to help bring a bunch of her family members over.

Yep he did imported her father too. Dumb American do anytain for pussy!

 

[khryslerkid]

Funny or stupid things that your "friend" did.....

Fishing in a creek just inside the woods, my friend walks over to the clearing to take a piss and starts hollering and screaming. I thought he stepped in a bees nest. Come to find out he was pissing on a electric fence!

We used to go tubing in a creek that ran through the farm. Same guy, standing in our shop with a inner tube around his waist, putting air in it. It kept getting bigger and bigger. We told him to stop before it blew up. Too late! He could have been seriously injured or worse. He did have quite a red patch on his stomach.

Same guy...
We would cut the forks off of one bicycle and drive them onto the forks of another bike to make a raked extended look. He takes off, pops a wheelie, forks and front wheel fall off, forks on the bike hits the road and flips him and his manhood onto the center bar then over the handle bars. I bet he laid there for 20 mins.

Another friend and I used to go out trying to pick up girls...in his Austin Healy Sprite. Heck it was almost too tight in that car for the two of us!

 

[Runner 68]

Funny or stupid things that your "friend" did.....

Another friend and I used to go out trying to pick up girls...in his Austin Healy Sprite. Heck it was almost too tight in that car for the two of us!

Sounds like the PERFECT pick up car to me. Get them to sit on you're lap. No better situation to be in.

 

[6PKRTSE]

I have one you had to be there moments. When we were kids I had a buddy who used to always say "suck my d***" as his burn to all of us. Finally, one day another buddy said "whip it out". As about 6 of looked surprised at what we just heard. Buddy 1 whipped it out, buddy 2 grabbed ahold of it and pulled him around a couple of laps around the backyard around the swimming pool. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even watch. He was kicking and screaming to stop.. Needless to say, I don't think be has ever said it again.

 

[eldubb440]

My "friend" went around the corner to see if he could bum some brake clean or a little degreaser from another local car guy. I, I mean my friend didn't want to drive into town.

Dude pours some purple cleaner into an empty iced tea bottle, and says "maybe this isn't a good idea"

My friend says "don't worry about it, it's going right into a spray bottle"

they proceed to bullshit for a few more minutes, until I, errrr, my friend pops the lid off the bottle and takes a swig

what a dope, he didn't swallow any of it; and it didn't get very far past his front teeth; but he was pretty freaked out

it didn't taste as bad as you might think, but it tingled for about 15 minutes while the idiot rinsed his mouth out repeatedly

Mom always threatened to wash my mouth out with soap, I wonder if she had anything to do with this?

 

[Mackman]

My buddy was a dairy farmer with his brother and father. As a senior in high school he was trying to drive an uncooperative cow into a part of the barn and she didn’t want to go. He became frustrated, grabbed a hammer that was hanging on the wall, and threw it at the cow. He woke up on his back with the cow licking his face. It seems the hammer bounced off her head, broke his nose and knocked him out. And his senior prom was that night. Bruised up face and all. After 50 years we still laugh about it.

 

[kiwigtx]

Used to work with a guy that had a weak stomach. At lunch we would wait until he was nearly done eating then open our mouth and show him a chewed up bite of sandwich. He'd be out the door and puke. The rest of the afternoon he'd be bitchin' at us because he was hungry.

You think that's bad..... Dave who I mentioned on Page #1 of this thread played another prank (if you can call it that) on us at morning tea break as apprentices. His wife had just given birth to their first child.....and just after we had finished eating hot-dogs, fish pieces, bacon sandwiches etc.....he opens up his carry bag and pulls out a plastic bag with what looked like a fresh corned-beef....and plops it on the table.

Turns out it was his wife's placenta.

I nearly vomited...other guys went running out the door. It was nasty.

 

[F4R/T]

That was a game over moment I bet Kiwi!

 

[eldubb440]

You think that's bad..... Dave who I mentioned on Page #1 of this thread played another prank (if you can call it that) on us at morning tea break as apprentices. His wife had just given birth to their first child.....and just after we had finished eating hot-dogs, fish pieces, bacon sandwiches etc.....he opens up his carry bag and pulls out a plastic bag with what looked like a fresh corned-beef....and plops it on the table.

Turns out it was his wife's placenta.

I nearly vomited...other guys went running out the door. It was nasty.

a punched placenta?

 

[Kern Dog]

A “friend” (19 years old at the time) once got drunk and drove around the neighborhood with two buddies while peeling out on peoples lawns.., they went to get more gas then being drunk idiots, they returned to the same neighborhood to do more. The driver was caught by a Policeman when pulling off of a lawn with grass in the wheel wells and quarter panels. That guy spent the night in jail. The court judgement required him to pay fines and make restitution. He had to go back to each house and apologize, then do whatever they wanted in return for his stupid mistake.
That guy rarely drinks anymore but he posts a lot of memes.