Your one liners here......

[MarPar]

Well yeah pretty much but you need to hear my dad yelling at me

And throwing his shoe or sandal at you

 

[eldubb440]

has anyone mentioned this old classic?

"it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway"

 

[eldubb440]

an old timer I knew had a classic:

"shut up and wrap some c#nt around it"

 

[Slap Stick]

Putting his brain in his head is like putting a BB in a boxcar.

If you think your head isnt worth the price of a good helmet, you're probably right. -me

 

[coronet68mx]

Stop being an asshole with that and come here you bastard

Stop being an asshole with that and come here you bastard

Where are the little bananas with the sombreros???

 

[MarPar]

 

[khryslerkid]

View attachment 1057541

Gee Wally, that's a big one!

And one for Mario!

 

[MarPar]

 

[coronet68mx]

View attachment 1057572 View attachment 1057572 View attachment 1057572 View attachment 1057572 View attachment 1057572 View attachment 1057572

 

[Geetex]

He's a terrible mechanic, he couldn't use a wrench to beat his way out of a wet paper bag.

 

[MoparLeo]

Signs in a repair shop,
"We can fix it, no matter how much it costs."
" We screwed the last guy and passed the savings on to you."
" Where perfection is barely acceptable"
" The quality is remembered long after the price is forgotten"

 

[Cranky]

If you end up at my shop, it means you've been turned down by all the others and you want to haggle price with me!?? See that door you came in........use it.

 

[Cranky]

When I messed up as a kid and it pissed my dad off but he understood and he would kinda say, been there done that. He would use a few funny one liners to let me know to cut it out and behave, but he wasn’t too riled up. I always new he had a point but, I got it.

one of his best, I thought:

“if you don’t cut the ****, I’m gonna kick your *** so far up between your shoulder blades, every time you gotta piss, you’ll have to take your shirt off”

My dad never used that one on me but I said it a couple of times to my kids but with the wording changed up a bit....

Happiness is a blonde with big tits whose father owns a liquor store.

That would probably mean I would be soon in the grave.

"Deja de hacerte pendejo con eso y ven acá cabron" sorry no literal translation for this illustrious phrase from my dad
@MarPar

Well yeah pretty much but you need to hear my dad yelling at me

Oh I still haven't been able to translate the Portuguese my mom said to me when she was still around lol

 

[copper67sat]

I always loved this one from my father-in-law
If you're looking for sympathy, you can find it between **** and syphilis in the dictionary.

 

[Chargerjase]

I used to be undecided, but now I'm not so sure

 

[Chargerjase]

POETS Day - Piss Off Early Tomorrow is Saturday
Used during beer thirty on Friday nights after work.

 

[Ironbuilt]

"Deja de hacerte pendejo con eso y ven acá cabron" sorry no literal translation for this illustrious phrase from my dad
@MarPar

In English...

Stop ******* with that and come here, motherfucker.

 

[coronet68mx]

In English...

Stop ******* with that and come here, motherfucker.

As I said before no literal translation for that phrase, i still don't know why he was so angry with me sometimes, but you get the idea brother.

 

[Scott Engelhardt]

Like waving your dick in a warm room
That kid can break an anvil with a Q tip

 

[64BEL]

One for all of the supervisors out there:
The beatings will continue until morale improves.