Words and phrases that make me laugh.

[Kern Dog]

I love to laugh. I do so several times a day.
One of the things that encourages laughter in me is that I often look at things in a literal sense.
I'm going to take a crap.
That is funny to me because I think of a dude actually taking feces and doing something with it.
That guy is dumb as ****.
Really? Is that even possible?
WE did it ALL night long.
Ha ha....I really doubt that you started when the sun went down and then finished as the sun was coming up.
Three bricks short of a load.
Slower than a contestant of the Special Olympics.
I'm so sick, I'd have to get better to die.
She lose a TON of weight.
Sometimes, a person's accent really sells the phrase. Working with Hispanic guys, their accents often make stuff even more funny than usual.
What are some of your favorite words or phrases?

 

[70 SUPERBIRD]

At my age an all nighter is not going to have to go to the bathroom

 

[QOTHL]

How about: That tastes like ****!

 

[DeltaV]

You Look Happy As A Clam

​

The bank robbers are still at large.

Ok, then why can't you find them?​

It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

​

Funny sounding words?

Oxymoron
Bodacious
Tatas
Bollocks
Kern Dog ​

 

[Slap Stick]

Dumb as f#&k.
Get the f#&k out of here. Dont guys always want that? Why get rid of it?
Now, then. Which is it? Now or then?

 

[QOTHL]

I wouldn't trust ____ with a burned out match.

Speaking of matches, gotta match? Not since Superman died.

Funny sounding words?

Jumbo shrimp.
Buetocks
Uranus

 

[QOTHL]

I feel like death eating a cracker.

That coffee would wake the dead.

That fog is thick as sea poop.

 

[DeltaV]

Gotta match? Yes, your breath and a buffalo's fart.

 

[DeltaV]

He fell off the turnip truck.

I was born at night, but not last night.

 

[Wojo68]

I feel like death eating a cracker.

That coffee would wake the dead.

That fog is thick as sea poop.

“I feel like death eating a cracker” never heard that one before. I like that one!

 

[Wojo68]

He’s funny as ****!

I feel dogshit!

 

[moparedtn]

If my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his butt and teach him how to walk backwards.

 

[beanhead]

That____shakes like a dog poopin' peach pits.
Sympathy? It's in the dictionary between **** and siphyllis!
After a long day, "my dogs are barking"....I never did figure that one out!

 

[kiwigtx]

"I could care less"

The people that say that phrase actually DO care more.

The phrase is supposed to be "I couldn't care less"

 

[kiwigtx]

After a long day, "my dogs are barking"....I never did figure that one out!

It's an old English term used to say that your feet are absolutely aching.

 

[Tony Tee]

Well, possum in a gum bush!
Pert near but not plumb.
One brain cell shy of being comatose.

 

[sam dupont]

I'm drier than a popcorn fart

I'm so high! Glad to meet you so high

 

[bandit67]

"Hold my beer".........

 

[sam dupont]

Picked a booger and it looked like a nightcrawler stuck to a corn chip

 

[jamie]

"I'm so hungry I could eat the asshole out of a skunk." That was dad's favorite!