Words and phrases that make me laugh.

[QOTHL]

Why is DICK in any way associated with the name Richard?

Speaking of dicks:
Schlong
Tallywacker (ala Porky's)
Trouser snake
One eyed monster
Johnson(?)
Dork (Johny Dangerously)
Tube steak
Bolt Upright
Stick shift
mushroom
One eyed canivin Ivan

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

They do make some nice home appliances.

Do they still make Nads hair removal?

 

[QOTHL]

Nuts
Balls
Swinging steaks
Rocky Mountain oysters
Kiwi's
Grapes

 

[Mackman]

That would scare the buzzards off a ****-wagon.

 

[kiwigtx]

Rattle your dags.

As slippery as a butchers prick on the first day of spring.

(both references to sheep)

"Get your *** over here!" ....hey, what about the rest of me?

"Dropped my guts" - just farted.

"Floated an air-biscuit" - same thing.

 

[eldubb440]

"like 10 mother f#%kers"

 

[kiwigtx]

My pommie buddy used to say this when he was working hard.... "sweating like a rapist"

It would usually draw some strange looks from women nearby.

 

[Kern Dog]

"like 10 mother f#%kers"

This one guy I worked with would use "10 mother******s as a form of measurement.
"That job was as boring as 10 MFers!"
I realize that it was just an expression but my literal brain looks for the origins of these phrases.
3 MFers is ok, 5 is testing your limits but 10 is the tipping point of tolerance?

 

[QOTHL]

As slippery as a butchers prick on the first day of spring.

 

[kiwigtx]

3 MFers is ok, 5 is testing your limits but 10 is the tipping point of tolerance?

You know what they say Greg.....measure twice, cut once.

Ten MF'ers was not measuring correctly.

 

[QOTHL]

"Floated an air-biscuit" - same thing.

You're about as subtle as a fart in an astronaut suit.

 

[QOTHL]

My pommie buddy used to say this when he was working hard.... "sweating like a rapist"

 

[kiwigtx]

You're about as subtle as a fart in an astronaut suit.

Billy Connolly famously used that in a talk show many years ago....Angie Dickinson, Michael Parkinson (host) and Mary Whitehouse (British TV Censor prude back in the day)

 

[Mackman]

As sour as owl ****!

 

[QOTHL]

Ten MF'ers was not measuring correctly.

That's about as funny as a screen door on a submarine.

 

[QOTHL]

Three sheets to the wind.

From quarter deck to poop deck is but a step. C.S. Forester.

 

[QOTHL]

Empty beer cans on the roadside are ugly by day.
But at night
They shine bright
and safely guide the way.

 

[QOTHL]

"That job was as boring as 10 MFers!"

How boring is a MFer? What exactly determines this measurement?

 

[QOTHL]

Soft as a grape.

If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a wagon.

Does your nose run and your feet smell?
Uh, oh, you might be built upside down!

Dawn breaks over Marblehead. In the vernacular: Dawn breaks over Maaablehaed.

You think you're a hot **** in a champagne glass when you're really just a cold piss in a beer mug.

_______has his arm so far up _________ass you can see his fingers when he talks.