Words and phrases that make me laugh.

[440RUSH]

He's gayer than a bag of dicks.

It's so hot, I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

 

[Daves69]

An Aussie one (?)......

"He fell in a barrel of tits and came out sucking his thumb!"

 

[kiwigtx]

I nearly lost my Black Velvet begonia because I kept it in the same pot too long with the same dirt. Changed it out and it's a monster!

I will transplant soon....been giving it a chance to grow.....now it is growing at last.

 

[Cranky]

I'm thinking but that's an oxymoron........?

 

[QOTHL]

Barn doors are open...has nothing to do with barns.

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

Not sure this has been posted yet but how about:
Pissed off.
I guess that's better than being pissed on...

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

Is this political?

 

[QOTHL]

I heard this from a Canadian sports announcer during the curling competition at the Winter Olympics:
He's as wise as a tree full of owls.

 

[Chargerjase]

My Dad would say "kick er in the guts"
Meaning when he wanted somebody to start the car or turn the TV on for example.
If the car was cranking and wouldn't start he would shout, "come on, give it ********"

 

[Chargerjase]

Another, "cunning as a **** house rat".
WTF does that even mean lol?

 

[Chargerjase]

When the wind is blowing really hard a local phrase was
" Gezus, it's blowing like 40 bastards"
Why 40? I have no idea.

 

[Chargerjase]

He's as crooked as a 2 Bob watch
She's so skinny if she stood sideways we would mark her absent
He couldn't organise a pissup in a brewery
An ugly woman trying to look like something she isn't, would be referred to 'Mutton dressed as lamb'
She was 'Pissed as a chook' meaning that she was very drunk.

 

[Grabbergreendream]

Saying goodbye to a friend:
Don't let your meat loaf!

 

[Grabbergreendream]

Shaking like a leaf on a tree!

 

[Grabbergreendream]

When his hands were too big to get into a tight spot my Dad would ask for help & say he had "banana grabbers" in reference to the size of apes hands